IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

As well as, making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. Agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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Into
Change preposition
In
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 the bargain, earning money and
business
Use synonyms
 have social
leaderships
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leadership
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 too. I strongly agree that money-spinning has communal power
such
Linking Words
 as providing some of poor society. On the one hand ,
successful
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a successful
the successful
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 person can encourage
people
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 to
community
Add a missing verb
do community
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 service
such
Linking Words
 as volunteering
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning
polluted
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the polluted
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beach
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beaches
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 and forests or using paper bags in order to get rid of plastic things. Most of
majority
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the majority
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 could admire
people
Use synonyms
 who set up their businesses that’s why most of them may want to start their own
business
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. As
a
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an
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 influencer of society , businessmen could lead young
business
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people
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
business
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the business
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 world.
As a result
Linking Words
 of it, many
people
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 can change their lifestyle in order to be able to make a lot of income and
this
Linking Words
 kind of activity can reduce poor society and pave the way to success.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many rich
people
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 can provide poor
community
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communities
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 with food and clothes.
This
Linking Words
 is
good
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a good
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 idea because wealthy
people
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 have their own income enough to share part of it with indigent
people
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, businessmen can provide most of
poor
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the poor
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 majority with jobs, and
business
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people
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 can do supportive activities
such
Linking Words
 as helping
community
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the community
a community
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 to pay taxes or university fees to make some
people
Use synonyms
 happy and support them financially. In conclusion, the way I see it earning money
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 social influences
such
Linking Words
 as supporting indigent
people
Use synonyms
 financially.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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