IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

IN SOME COUNTRIES, OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE. WHY MIGHT THIS BE CASE? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Many people are more likely to have their own houses
while
 others rent an apartment. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will demonstrate the benefits before I arrive at a conclusion The main advantages of ownership are saving money and being able to save for the next generation‘s life. Once dwellers buy their shack, they will not tend to spend their salary on a monthly payment of temporary residence which is growing more rapidly than the number of houses.
Also
, I think that everyone wants to live without many disruptions and nobody will come by yelling to leave or pay for the flat.
Moreover
, it will make to next generation not worry about the place they will live and they may pick up another by selling it.
In addition
, I think that compared to the tenants who have not been permitted to make any changes, owners bring more opportunities
such
 as modifying as they want and doing whatever they want in the area of the place .
This
 means that landlords can reconstruct a building or apartment and decorate the inside of the condo by making it comfortable and pleasing for them. In conclusion, having your own place to live presents more opportunities than renting one. In my point of view, buying a house not only gives a bright future to individuals but
also
 a great achievement in life.
Submitted by esenbai0905 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay partially addresses the task by presenting some benefits of owning a home. However, the conclusion does not effectively address whether this is a positive or negative situation. It is important to fully address all parts of the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the essay's coherence and cohesion could be improved by using clearer transitions between ideas and organizing the content more effectively.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and relies on repetitive language and basic expressions. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary to convey meaning more precisely.
grammatical range
The essay shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are some inaccuracies in grammar and word choice that affect clarity. To enhance grammatical range, the writer should work on using a wider variety of sentence structures with more accurate and precise language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
Look at other essays: