IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You have recently visited a building which is of historical importance and came to know that it's in bad condition. Write a letter to local newspaper office. Which building it is? What are the problems? What do you expect them to do?

#importance #condition #newspaper #office
Dear ms Sema I am reader your newspaper who is since 2000.
i
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I
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wride
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write
 to
apronlem
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Apronlem
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 which is
old
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an old
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bulding
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building
 in our
citi
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city
. I want to explain a very old and historical building which is Burc Halife. the building is so
dencrous
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dangerous
 for our local people and tourist.
i
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I
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 am
afroid
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afraid
 to
one day
Add a hyphen
one-day
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dei
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die
 there like Gula Halife.
Firstly
, the building is very old.
Therefore
, its colour changed and so polluted. Some walls of the building are very dangerous for children and visitors.
Secondly
, the building needs repair because our historic buildings are so important to us. İt is affect our tourism sector. A lot of people work in the sector. if a day, the building
collapsed
Wrong verb form
collapses
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while
 do not come tourists.
To sum up
, your company can write the problems and the government can find a solution. I strongly believe that if your newspaper ride about
this
 problem, every citizen can hear it. kind regards.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure of the letter to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use an appropriate greeting and closing for a formal letter.
coherence cohesion
Work on expressing and organizing ideas coherently.
task achievement
Ensure to fully respond to all parts of the task prompt to achieve complete response.
task achievement
Adopt a more suitable writing tone for a formal letter to the local newspaper.
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