Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do benefits of this outweigh the drawbackss?

#students #study #colleges #universities #places #outweigh #drawbackss

Nowadays, there is a debate whether

students

may choose

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

local colleges and universities or prefer to

far

Add a missing verb

be far

show examples

away from their

birthplaceplace

Correct your spelling

birthplace

for higher study.

However

, some

students

decide to get an education from a college/university which is away from where they were brought up. I agree with the statement because of

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a quality education and

expanding

Wrong verb form

expand

show examples

my social circle. First and foremost,

due to

the high level of competition for jobs,

students

must be highly qualified.

This

can be done only, if

students

choose to study at an institution which is high rank and recognised everywhere in the world.

Moreover

, getting an education from a foreign institute can create opportunities for professional life.

For instance

, nowadays, some organizations just accept people who have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

show examples

. If a student prefers a foreign institute over

local

Correct article usage

a local

show examples

one,

then

he/she can grab

this

opportunity. Another reason why I agree is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

can expand the social circle of

students

This

is because,

going

Verb problem

apply

show examples

leaving your

birthplaceplace

Correct your spelling

birthplace

can lead you to tackle different people, make new friends, explore

a new cultures

Correct the article-noun agreement

new cultures

a new culture

show examples

, variety of new foods, and most importantly learn multiple languages. Recent studies conclude that

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apply

show examples

7 out of 10 successful peoples are those who knows about different cultures and languages.

On the other hand

, leaving a brought up place can lead to many problems in terms of cultural barriers. By

this

, I mean that

such

actions can lead to

home sickness

Correct your spelling

homesickness

show examples

or language hurdles.

For example

, when a person leaves

home

for the first time, he/she has no idea what to do or where to go,

this

can lead to

home sickness

Correct your spelling

homesickness

show examples

and a sense of isolation.

To conclude

although

leaving

home

can lead to numerous problems,

this

can open opportunities in many ways and make a person more social and friendly. In my point of view, the advantages of

this

outweigh the drawbacks, and a student must go far away from

Correct pronoun usage

their birthplaceplace

show examples

birthplaceplace

Correct your spelling

birthplace place

birthplace-place

for higher study.

Submitted by umark5353 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the logical structure could be improved by providing clearer transitions between ideas.

task achievement

While your essay covers the main points, it lacks depth in discussing the drawbacks of studying far from home. It's important to fully cover all aspects of the question to achieve a high score.

lexical resource

Your essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, but it could benefit from more varied and precise word choices to enhance the quality of your writing.

grammatical range

Your essay displays some sentence structure and tense errors. Pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do benefits of this outweigh the drawbackss?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that paying taxes is enough to contribute to society. Others argue that being a citizen involves more responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.

Some people believe that construction of new public buildings such as museum, town hall, and sporting facility is more important than renovation of the existing ones, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required?