IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
There is an ongoing debate about university students between those who want to study other
subjects
 and
whereas
 others do not. In my opinion, taking lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
subjects
 is beneficial. So in
this
 essay, I will delve into
this
 stance with the partially opposite argument of mine.
To begin
 with, as I said I believe learning about other
subjects
 is significant, since it can broaden our perspectives and provide a qualified personality for us.
Also
, it might maintain a good cover letter for job applications,
that is
, paves the way for our future,
in other words
, supplies a big path for us. Because taking lessons apart from our main
subjects
 contributes a lot of brand new knowledge and,
for instance
, it enhances our problem-solving skills,
besides
, our creativity.
In contrast
 with my thoughts, some people trust that taking other
subjects
besides
 your main subject might destroy your qualifications, since for them you must focus and get ahead on just one thing. In my opinion, it restricts world view, to put it another way, supplies single-minded, not open-minded. At the same time, I partly agree with that statement. If some people major in compelling degrees
such
 as physics, maths, medicine, or other majors like that, they might not need to take new classes because they already have challenging and useful lessons for their future.
Consequently
, we should find a balance between exploring new
subjects
 and focusing on our main
subjects
 for qualifications because it maintains an equipped strong background and recognition.
Submitted by Ilgım on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents some relevant points but lacks a clear and consistent argument throughout. The structure is generally acceptable, but certain points could be developed further.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task to some extent and provides a partially clear argument. However, the response lacks depth and coherence, and the argument is not consistently presented throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of inappropriate word choices and awkward phrasing. A greater variety of vocabulary and more accurate word choice would enhance the essay.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are also numerous grammatical errors, including verb tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. A more consistent and accurate use of grammar and sentence structures is needed for a higher score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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