Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local film industries?

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Despite different types of internal
films
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that are produced even by professional directors; generally, people prefer to watch foreign ones.
Although
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, it has numerous reasons
such
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as restrictions which are applied, including financial issues; so, I think
government
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the government
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should do more
supports
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support
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including monetary
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
to progress the native film
industry
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. During the
last
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few decades,
movie
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the movie
show examples
industry
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has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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become one of the most popular hobbies all over the world
due to
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the altered various
of
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apply
show examples
genres that provide a huge variety of choices for audiences.
As
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well as
Rephrase
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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international
Correct article usage
the international
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movie
industry
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grows domestic directors
try
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are trying
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to produce
films
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to be considered by critics.
Although
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, despite
of
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apply
show examples
their efforts spectators still prefer those foreign language
films
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. I conjecture that it has many causes
such
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as
make up
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make-up
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, decoration of the scene, special effects and
finally
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actors and actresses.
For example
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, the “
pirates
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Pirates
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of the Caribbean” is one of the most electrifying and booming movies which has been sold
more
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for more
show examples
than four billion dollars.
Masterly
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Mastery
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make up
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make-up
show examples
and extraordinary special effects
has been
Wrong verb form
have
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caused many people
in
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apply
show examples
all around the globe
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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absorbed
to watch
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in watching
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that
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Also
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, these factors demand a substantial pecuniary source.
In contrast
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of
Change preposition
to
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proficient directing and the alluring stories of home
films
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; they are not able to be box-office hit and it is owing to their circumscribed budget. In my opinion,
government
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the government
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should dedicate higher
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
as an encouragement. It obviously increases
quality
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the quality
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of the movie
industry
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and
revitalize
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revitalizes
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its ranking;
as a result
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, they become bestselling so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they make a big enormous profit. In conclusion, I admit that devoting colossal means
by
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to
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the government could be regarded as an investment. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, If the authority tries to cooperate the headway of the entertainment
industry
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absorb more people to home
films
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and
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finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
it could be highly advantageous to
economy
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the economy
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of the country.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a varied range of vocabulary and some use of idiomatic language, but there are also instances of awkward or inaccurate word choices.
Grammatical Range
The essay exhibits a mix of complex and simple sentence structures but also contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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