IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

some paople argue that industrial cities must demolish. what extend do you agree?

#paople #cities
The supplied maps illustrate an industrial
area
 in the
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 of the city of Norbition, and the changes which will be imposed in
this
area
.
Overall
,
this
area
 will experience a great change ranging from constructing
bridge
Fix the agreement mistake
bridges
show examples
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to expanding the roads. In the north of the picture, a bridge will be built over the river running from the east to the west.
Moreover
, all of the factories will be removed and numerous houses will be constructed.
Furthermore
, some necessary facilities will be created that they will be a school and a playground in the eastern part of the
area
 and shops and a medical
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
its
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
According to
 the illustration, the roads will be expanded and another
squer
Correct your spelling
square
 will be built below the main square.
Also
, some parts of farmland will be removed and it will be replaced with a big house.
Submitted by rasulmaghsudi928 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on providing a clearer introduction and conclusion to your essay to fully address the task
task achievement
The main points are supported but the response could be more complete and the ideas more comprehensive
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more effectively
grammatical range
Try to vary your sentence structures and work on eliminating grammatical errors

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: