IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Parents want to achieve balance between family and career but only a few manage to achieve it. What do you think is the reason? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

#parents #balance #career #reason
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Global life nowadays
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is not been easy for anyone,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 when it
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
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 the topic
work
Change preposition
of work
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 and career.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 two words could
meaning
Change the verb form
mean
be meaning
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 a huge significance to many people. In
twenty
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
first
Correct word choice
twenty-first
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century
Add a comma
century,
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 a job and
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a great
significant
Replace the word
significance
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specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 to
women
Use synonyms
.
Feminists
Fix the agreement mistake
Feminist
show examples
 movements from tewnty century
enteraing
Correct your spelling
entering
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
twenty
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
first
Correct word choice
twenty-first
show examples
century gave
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 many rights that now they can practice those rights
such
Linking Words
 as vote for a political party,
could be
Verb problem
getting
show examples
divorce
Replace the word
divorced
show examples
 and working, of course it depends
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the country even
so
Correct word choice
though
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
progress
access
Change preposition
in access
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 rights. Because of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 movements
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
 can feel it even today, many articles
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
said
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 are postponing
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 a
baby
Use synonyms
 or a family and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work are predominantly the big choice of their lives. They achieve
first
Use synonyms
 to have a career
instead
Linking Words
to have
Change preposition
of having
show examples
 a
baby
Use synonyms
 or a family,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both two are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fine line.
Consequently
Linking Words
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 of
women
Use synonyms
's choice men
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 having a family late.
Couple
Fix the agreement mistake
Couples
show examples
nowadays have to
do
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a truthful conversation and debate
when
Change preposition
about when
show examples
 they could have
a children
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
 and start a family,
also
Linking Words
 because
women
Use synonyms
 can have a
baby
Use synonyms
 until a certain age. So, If a pear
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
birth to a
baby
Use synonyms
 and both
Change preposition
of them
show examples
them
Change the pronoun
they
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 are older they have to think
If
Change preposition
about If
show examples
enter
Wrong verb form
entering
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to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a relationship with a person that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not want
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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 a child
If
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
It is a good choice.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, for parents that want
achieve
Fix the infinitive
to achieve
show examples
 a balance between family and career
Use synonyms
first
Add the comma(s)
, first
show examples
 of all, they have to choose one of them and concentrate
energy
Correct pronoun usage
their energy
show examples
 for a couple of years in
this
Linking Words
 phase of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
. After that, they do not
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 choose something between them, just can focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 one than
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • support systems
  • childcare
  • traditional gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • financial stability
  • flexible working hours
  • remote work options
  • burnout
What to do next:
Look at other essays: