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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #birth #rates #china #usa #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph below compares changes in the
birth
Use synonyms
 rates of
China
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 and the USA over 8 decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, after 50
years
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 of unusual fluctuations, both countries witnessed a downward trend . Noteworthy ,
China
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 had lower
birthS
Correct your spelling
births
show examples
 than
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in the second half of the cycle. In 1920, the
birth
Use synonyms
rate
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 in the USA was 12%, 2% higher than
China
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’s one. After
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
-> fluctuating around 10% for 20
years
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,
this
Linking Words
 number dropped sharply to 5% in 1945 and
then
Linking Words
 grew dramatically to peak at 15% in 1950.
Although
Linking Words
 the US
birth
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rate
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 had been falling already for 50
years
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 to 7% by the end of the cycle, it was still 3 times larger than
China
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the period 1920-1935 saw small fluctuations in
Use synonyms
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 which rose rapidly to 15%.
This
Linking Words
 fell sharply from 1940 to 1945,
then
Linking Words
 remained at
this
Linking Words
 level for five
years
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, before rising sharply again to peak at 20% in 1920. Since 1950, a significant decline was seen in
Use synonyms
China
Change noun form
China's
show examples
birth
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rate
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 over the next five
years
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. The
rate
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 of decline slowed down until 1955 before
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 slightly around 2 % in the
last
Linking Words
 2000
years
Use synonyms
 of the observation period.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words birth, china, years, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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