Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Athers believes that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

One
of the most controversial issues today relates to
people
thinking that wild
animals
should not be kept in
zoos
,
While
some
people
tend towards the viewpoint that should keep the wild
animals
in
zoos
,others support the idea should not be kept in
zoos
.In
this
essay, I am going examine both points of view and produce my own opinion. On
one
side of the argument, there are
people
who argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wild
animals
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
zoos
.The main reason for believing
this
is that wild
animals
do not have the survival ability nowadays.To be more specific,
people
stole natural places from
animals
,cut off the forest and made a lot of trash,wild
animals
are easy to be attacked by cars or
people
.
For example
,
people
find lots of plastic bags in the animal's bodies, which causes the animal's deaths.It is
also
possible to say that some
people
think that when
animals
are valuable,they will catch the wild
animals
just to sell a good price.
One
good illustration of
this
is many elephants have been killed just because of their tooth,so keeping wild
animals
in
zoos
is the way to protect them.
On the other hand
,the opposite argument is that
people
should not keep wild
animals
in
zoos
.For
one
thing,
people
think that wild
animals
should be free not for being a product.To illustrate,
people
train dolphins to make
people
fun and earn money,but dolphins should live in the sea with freedom.For another,the fact that to protect wild
animals
is all
people
's responsibility,not just to keep them in
zoos
.
In other words
,we should make
this
become common sense
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when all
people
are educated to protect wild
animals
,
people
can live with
animals
together. In conclusion,
although
zoos
are good, nowadays
zoos
are not innocent anymore,and
zoos
should not use
animals
to earn money.I personally prefer wild
animals
should not be kept in
zoos
.
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Achievement: The response covers both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the examples could be more specific and detailed to enhance the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is mostly clear, and there is a presence of introduction and conclusion. However, the linking of ideas and examples could be improved for better coherence.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The use of vocabulary is fairly good, but there is room for improvement in using more varied and nuanced vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates reasonably accurate use of grammar structures. However, there are some errors in sentence structure and tense usage that need improvement.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • infringes on
  • natural habitat
  • behavior
  • confined spaces
  • physical and psychological stress
  • life expectancy
  • distress
  • pacing
  • over-grooming
  • self-mutilation
  • artificial environment
  • critical role
  • education
  • conservation
  • research
  • breeding programs
  • endangered species
  • extinction
  • scientific research
  • animal health
  • sanctuary-like environments
  • simulate
  • educational
  • conservational advantages
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: