Children should go school or teach at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.

#children #school #home #aspects

Since past schooling is the one and only method of

education

. But now it seems to

getting

Verb problem

show examples

change

Wrong verb form

changing

show examples

as teaching at

home

is increasing

popularity

Change preposition

in popularity

show examples

among

Change preposition

show examples

present society. Schooling

is facilitate

Change the verb form

is facilitated

is facilitating

show examples

to improve a plethora of life

skills

while

parents are able to establish a proper secure environment in

home base

Correct your spelling

home-based

show examples

education

However

, I strongly believe that

school

education

is most suitable for students as it opens the

variouse oppertunities

Correct your spelling

various opportunities

to interact with

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

Firstly

, schools are following a significant content and it was made by educational consultants

Change preposition

apply

show examples

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

concerning

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

age appropriate

Add a hyphen

age-appropriate

show examples

activities and cognitive level.

Therefore

, it seems very smooth running throughout the lessons and no extra

skills

are required to grab the essential knowledge.

School

Correct article usage

The school

show examples

environment facilitates students to move with not only peer groups but

also

with academic and

non academic

Add a hyphen

non-academic

show examples

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

By interacting

Change preposition

Interacting

show examples

with a number of people, directly

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to enhance

skills

such

as sharing, caring,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

decision making etc.

For instance

, my daughter developed the skill of working with peers, only after entered to the

school

. Until

Add a comma

that,

show examples

that

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

she was

Change the article

show examples

isolated girl with less

active

Replace the word

activity

show examples

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even

society

Correct word choice

though society

show examples

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

more sophisticated and

due to

that reason the security level

become

Verb problem

has

show examples

decreased gradually. No one can

responsible

Add a missing verb

be responsible

show examples

for

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

lives as traumas, accidents and

violences

Change the wording

violence

acts of violence

outbreaks of violence

show examples

are

getiing

Correct your spelling

getting

increased. Some parents may believe that the schools are

also

not

consider

Replace the word

considerate

show examples

of the protection of children.

Therefore

home

Correct article usage

the home

show examples

environment parents are able to take measures to uplift the protection

while

teaching at

home

. But the problem is youngers

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

limited exposure to society and it seems less effective in terms of

education

. In Sri

lanka

Change the capitalization

Lanka

show examples

, there are a number of crimes and

violences

Change the wording

violence

acts of violence

outbreaks of violence

show examples

are recorded daily and most of them

surrounded

Verb problem

are

show examples

in schools.

To sum up

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

there is a

tend

Replace the word

tendency

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

home

education

as well as

school

education

. I personally believe that

shool based

Correct your spelling

school-based

show examples

education

is most effective as it

facilitate

Change the verb form

facilitates

show examples

children to

sharp

Replace the word

sharpen

show examples

their

skills

parelalley

Correct your spelling

parallel

with

Change preposition

show examples

education

Therefore

, my opinion is

school

education

is most effective and suitable for children.

Submitted by laksrijayashan on Fri Nov 10 2023

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Task Response

Focus on developing a clear, well-structured argument that addresses all aspects of the prompt. Make sure to support your points with relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more coherently within paragraphs and between paragraphs. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Use appropriate academic language and avoid repetitive words and phrases.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and grammatical accuracy. Vary sentence structures and use complex sentences to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children should go school or teach at home. Discuss both aspects and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?