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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people who consumed five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK over 8 years, which is from 2001 to 2008.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of people who consumed five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK over 8 years, which is from 2001 to 2008.
#bar #proportion #people #five #portions #fruits #vegetables #uk #years
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The graph shows the distribution of
Britian
Correct your spelling
Britain
 who
having
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 five portions of fruits and vegetables a day in England for the past eight
years
Use synonyms
, from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
 women, who
able
Add a missing verb
were able
show examples
 to
took
Change the form of the verb
take
show examples
 five
set
Change to a plural noun
sets
show examples
 of mentioned healthy food
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
 all the reporting period. And for all the categories, the number of people who
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
 the intake portion has
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 from the reporting
year
Use synonyms
 2001 to the max of 2006 and
then
Linking Words
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 two
consistive
Correct your spelling
consecutive
years
Use synonyms
. In all three groups, women
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 population. It had just above 20 per
cert
Correct your spelling
cent
show examples
 at the beginning of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
 of reporting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and gradually increased to the peak of 35 per
cert
Correct your spelling
cent
show examples
, 6
years
Use synonyms
 later.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 went down back to 30 per
cert
Correct your spelling
cent
show examples
 in the
year
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2008. The trend of
children
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 is similar to women.
However
Linking Words
, when comparing
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
, the difference between these two genders kept
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10 per cent for the beginning six reporting
years
Use synonyms
, After reaching
Correct article usage
the maxium
show examples
maxium
Correct your spelling
maximum
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
a year
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2006 for both
children
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
, the gap between these two
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
 of gender reduced and with very small
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
.
Submitted by sangelamami on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, men, children, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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