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Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #teachers #children’s #behavior #think #children
Whether adults should rigidly put
children
’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 under control or allow them absolute freedom to act has long been called into question.
This
 essay shall illuminate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that
while
 both approaches have certain benefits, their drawbacks greatly outweigh the advantages. Society should form a middle ground on
this
 matter which lets
children
 freely develop
while
abide
Wrong verb form
abiding
show examples
 by adults' teachings
Children
, if put under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zealously tight control at both school and home, might not develop to their best
potentials
Fix the agreement mistake
potential
show examples
. A prime illustration is that in order for a child to become competent in any field requires a lengthy process of
trials
Fix the agreement mistake
trial
show examples
 and
errors
Fix the agreement mistake
error
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. A scared, timid child
due to
 being strictly regulated has little likelihood of daring to take the first step in any activity. That child is well aware that
him
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 making a mistake might lead to dire consequences.
On the other hand
, minor individuals with excessive
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
 freedom could develop a predisposition to act recklessly and unsympathetically. In reality, there is little to no educational institutes that implement
this
 approach on the grounds that it bears far too many risks. A classic illustration of
this
 is
children
 with indifferent parents are showing an increase in violence towards their peers, with most school fights
involve
Wrong verb form
involving
show examples
 kids without much care from their guardians.
In addition
,
children
 being permitted to behave freely without repercussion is highly the root of lack of sympathy because they feel like they are entitled to carry out any actions, regardless of
what
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 others might be affected .
Such
 individuals are in adolescence or younger, which is the period that shapes their personality;
hence
, a watchful eye with some degree of discipline is of paramount importance One way to address how parents and teachers can deal with
children
Change noun form
children's
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 education is a middle ground where
children
 are allowed a certain level of freedom but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 they need to behave with respect toward others. A harmony of discipline and liberal values creates the optimal environment for any to thrive both academically and personally.
Submitted by hoangminhtri127 on

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task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and comprehensive discussion of both views in a balanced manner.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise lexical choices.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence in your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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