The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
enhancing human well-being through science is important, I believe that by no means should it be solely the primary goal of science. Equally important are safeguarding the environment and respecting animal rights.
Scientific progress should never be achieved by sacrificing the environment, which plays a crucial role in sustaining human life. As the world's population increases, creating better ways to produce food, such
as more effective pesticides, becomes vital. Yet, if the focus remains solely on boosting crop yields, the pesticides developed may not only affect pests but also
make the land infertile, worsening the preexisting issue of food scarcity. This
highlights the importance of taking a balanced approach to scientific advancement that focuses on caring for both human lives and the health of the environment that they depend on.
Furthermore
, testing drugs on animals raises serious ethical concerns. Ensuring the safety of novel medicines for human use is critical, but prioritizing human health over animal rights is morally unacceptable. Animals, much like humans, experience emotions and share the right to live freely and without unnecessary suffering. Subjecting them to prolonged captivity solely for testing can result in both physical and psychological suffering. As moral beings, we have a responsibility to treat animals compassionately and avoid such
acts of brutality in the name of human betterment.
In conclusion, although
improving people's lives is an important aim of science, I believe that it should never overshadow other vital objectives within the field. We must also
give equal priority to environmental preservation and animal welfare, striking a balance between scientific progress and ethics for a better world.Submitted by asyifannisakh on
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coherence cohesion
The essay logically presented introductory and concluding paragraphs, but the introduction should more clearly state the writer's position on the statement. Ensure that all paragraphs logically follow one another to maintain coherence.
task achievement
While the essay responds to the task, the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement was not made explicitly clear. Furthermore, ideas could be further elaborated with more specific and directly relevant examples to strengthen the argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite