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Band 4.5

IELTS buddy Academic Writing Task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

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The diagram illustrates how
water
 is used as a source of producing electricity from the hydroelectric
dam
.
Overall
, the process is a rather complicated one, beginning with rain falling into the
dam
 and ending with power being distributed to facilities,
such
 as hospitals and schools.
To begin
, the
water
 is collected from the reservoir, which is a
dam
, but before that, the
dam
 accumulates
water
 by rainfall.
Following
this
, the
water
 is pumped from the
dam
 by the pump at the bottom of the
dam
 and between the reservoir is a valve that opens and closes, when it opens it allows the
water
 to flow to the turbine, where the electricity is being produced using the high voltage cables.
Finally
, in the transformer station, the high-voltage electric wires are used to transmit power to the facilities for usage using underground electric cables. In summary, the process of generating electricity from the hydroelectric
dam
 is complicated but it uses the natural
water
 from the sea and rainwater.
Submitted by emission457 on

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task response
The essay doesn't fully address the prompt, and lacks specific and relevant examples to support the main points. Ensure to clearly present the stages and the process involved in the production of electricity from the hydroelectric dam.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the response is somewhat weak, and some of the ideas are not well-supported or relevant. Improve the coherence and cohesion by presenting a clear, logical progression of ideas and by using cohesive devices to link and connect the information.
lexical resource
There are several inaccuracies in the use of terminology and vocabulary. Use a wider range of vocabulary and use more accurate and relevant words to describe the process. Additionally, ensure to use appropriate terminology related to electricity production and hydroelectric dams.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical inaccuracies throughout the response, including issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect word forms, and incorrect sentence structures. Work on improving the grammatical accuracy by revising and proofreading your response for these errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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