Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people claim that strict punishments are efficient in reducing traffic accidents.
However
, some popular belief is that there should be other measures to enhance road safety.
On the one hand, it is generally claimed that severe sanctions avoid or would most likely diminish road casualty. Indeed the fact that those who know the consequences such
as fines or for the worst: jail, should be scared to end up in these circumstances. If they are afraid they would pay more attention and respect the norms. The sterner the punishments are the greater the chances drivers would follow the rules. In the world, we are all citizens. As citizens, we all have rights like we have duties. In order to live in a society, every single person should respect their duties and the tasks of others. It is a simple basic behavior.
On the other hand
, every year, traffic accidents keep increasing but there are many ways to improve this
situation. Firstly
, kids should be taught at a very young age, at school, the road safety as a driver but also
as a pedestrian and the danger it has. Teachers or parents should raise awareness among these children about how they need to respect the rules established. It is often thought that if a child is not educated to follow rules he will most likely bend them and initiate others to do so. Secondly
, the driver's license is not equal for everyone. In developing countries, some take advantage of corruption. Thirdly
, the traffic system should be modernized. There should be more surveillance cameras or alcohol tests…Finally
, governments and city halls should encourage people to use less their cars to be able to limit car crashes.
While
I agree that severe sanctions lower the risk of mishaps, I believe that other measures are just as important.Submitted by santos_dij on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which explicitly states the topic and summarises the key points made. Ensure that your essay begins with a clear introductory paragraph that introduces the debate and concludes with a paragraph that summarises the main points discussed and your own opinion.
logical structure
The points made could be more logically structured and transitions between them could be smoother. Work on using linking words effectively to guide the reader through the arguments.
supported main points
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clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant but some were insufficiently developed or lacked clarity. Make sure every idea is expanded upon and clearly ties back to the question statement. Provide more specific examples where possible to substantiate your claims.
relevant specific examples
You have provided some relevant examples, but these could be more specific and detailed to effectively back up your points. Aim for a balance of general claims and precise, illustrative examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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