IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

#places #homes #space #country #side #people #countryside
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Over the years, the population of humans is increasing so
people
Use synonyms
 require more
homes
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 to live. Some individuals believe that the government should use the
countryside
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 to build new houses
while
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 others are against
this
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 view and they defend keeping the
countryside
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. I fully agree with group two for some reasons.
To begin
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 with, it is true that
people
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 need some places to live and in overpopulation
cities
Add a comma
cities,
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 residents require extra
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
.
Also
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, making houses close together is very dangerous and causes
collapse
Correct article usage
the collapse
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 of all structures that are not safe for individuals.
For example
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, in one of the cities in India with a high population,
people
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 have to make lots of slums in order to have a hooch.
Thus
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, the government decided to expand the city by making new
homes
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 in the
countryside
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.
On the other hand
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, some individuals and I have different ideas. one of the crucial places in each nation is the
countryside
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.
In addition
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, there are some pupils
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 want to live in a rural because they need to have a peaceful life.
Furthermore
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, if the government change rural areas and turns them into the city they destroy the biggest attraction of their country and
also
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 one of the important animal's habitats.
Finally
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, there are some humans that would like to go to the
countryside
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 as a holiday accommodation and are far away from the traffic, skyscrapers, pollution and so on.
Hence
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, society should use different methods to make new
homes
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. In conclusion,
Although
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people
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 need new
homes
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, destroying the
countryside
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 is not a reasonable remedy because the rural areas are part of the global and must be protected.
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Task Response
Provide a clear position on the issue and present a consistent argument throughout the essay. Make sure to address all aspects of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize ideas logically and coherently. Use appropriate transitioning words and ensure that the introduction and conclusion fully address the topic.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary and use more precise and accurate language. Pay attention to word choice and try to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure and grammar. Use a variety of sentence structures and make sure to avoid errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.
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