In many places, new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this

#places #homes #space #country #side #people #countryside

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Over the years, the population of humans is increasing so

people

require more

homes

to live. Some individuals believe that the government should use the

countryside

to build new houses

while

others are against

this

view and they defend keeping the

countryside

. I fully agree with group two for some reasons.

To begin

with, it is true that

people

need some places to live and in overpopulation

cities

Add a comma

cities,

show examples

residents require extra

accomodations

Correct your spelling

accommodations

accommodation

Also

, making houses close together is very dangerous and causes

collapse

Correct article usage

the collapse

show examples

of all structures that are not safe for individuals.

For example

, in one of the cities in India with a high population,

people

have to make lots of slums in order to have a hooch.

Thus

, the government decided to expand the city by making new

homes

in the

countryside

On the other hand

, some individuals and I have different ideas. one of the crucial places in each nation is the

countryside

In addition

, there are some pupils

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

want to live in a rural because they need to have a peaceful life.

Furthermore

, if the government change rural areas and turns them into the city they destroy the biggest attraction of their country and

also

one of the important animal's habitats.

Finally

, there are some humans that would like to go to the

countryside

as a holiday accommodation and are far away from the traffic, skyscrapers, pollution and so on.

Hence

, society should use different methods to make new

homes

. In conclusion,

Although

people

need new

homes

, destroying the

countryside

is not a reasonable remedy because the rural areas are part of the global and must be protected.

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Task Response

Provide a clear position on the issue and present a consistent argument throughout the essay. Make sure to address all aspects of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion

Organize ideas logically and coherently. Use appropriate transitioning words and ensure that the introduction and conclusion fully address the topic.

Lexical Resource

Expand the range of vocabulary and use more precise and accurate language. Pay attention to word choice and try to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range

Work on sentence structure and grammar. Use a variety of sentence structures and make sure to avoid errors in verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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