Many think that secondary and high school students should learn money management as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Earning
money
is not essential but what is important is maintaning
that acquired wealth. So, it is critical for teaching Correct your spelling
maintaining
school
students as it is often considered as
an important life skill. I strongly agree Change preposition
apply
to
Change preposition
with
this
point and will discuss my opinion below.
Firstly
, due to
the advancement of technology, students now
very much inclined towards Add a missing verb
are now
growing
world and they become easy Add an article
the growing
vicitims
for Correct your spelling
victims
money
launderers. For instance
, without proper knowledge on
Change preposition
of
cash based
applications, they would be sharing some sensitive bank details unknowingly. Meanwhile, I personally saw a high Add a hyphen
cash-based
school
boy purchasing something using UPI
app and by mistake, he shared his passcode Correct article usage
the UPI
to
someone who helped him as he is relatively new to Change preposition
with
these kind
of apps in a shop.
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
Morever
, Teaching students Correct your spelling
Moreover
regarding
Change preposition
apply
this
skill also
helps them in future to make wise decisions on money related
problems. Add a hyphen
money-related
For example
, they know how to spend their money
on
Change preposition
in
right
ways. Educating them in Correct article usage
the right
school
will enhance their financial knowledge and they can also
help their parents in banks. I personally believe that school
has Correct article usage
the school
this
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
on
Change preposition
of
spearding
awareness about Correct your spelling
spreading
money
management and they can include some classes in the curriculum with financial advisors as their tutors.
To sum up
, Learning money
management in
Change preposition
at
young
Correct article usage
a young
ages
is possible only in educational organizations like schools,colleges etc. Learning Fix the agreement mistake
age
this
skill will help them to understand money
better and prevent them from money
diggers. Finance Management is equally important as academics and every Add a missing verb
being money
school
across the world should implement it as a subject.Submitted by vigvic013 on
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The essay does not fully address the task. The arguments are not clearly presented and lack specific examples to support the points. It is important to fully address the prompt and provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. There is a lack of coherence and cohesion in the organization of ideas. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need improvement. Additionally, the essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and linking devices.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
The grammatical range is narrow, leading to frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation. The essay lacks complexity and precision in language use, and there are issues with sentence construction and coherence.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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