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Band 5.5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
In modern times, the issue of doing
work
 after
retirement
 by human beings has become highly controversial. There are those who say that the public should not continue
work
 after the age of pullout. Others believe that they should engage themselves in activity. I completely disagree with the opinion that
people
 do not do anything after their evacuation
due to
 several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay. Generally speaking, there are a number of reasons why the community supports
work
 after
retirement
. Perhaps the main reason why
people
 are in favour of
this
 is because of loneliness feelings. After
retirement
, the maximum percentage of the
people
 in our nation have passed a lonely
life
. They have nothing to do except household
work
 and social gatherings.
Additionally
, children are not given proper company and
sometimes
Add a missing verb
are sometimes
show examples
 forced to
send
Wrong verb form
be sent
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to the old house.
Due to
 loneliness, most of them go into depression.
Secondly
, After
retirement
, they feel like they are a burden to society.
On the other hand
, some
people
 oppose the above statement for many reasons.
People
 think that after
retirement
 older
people
 should pass their
life
 in a beautiful way.
Moreover
, they don't need to take the pressure. the government should give them benefits for passing their
life
. They can keep them busy by doing some personal activities, like gardening, tourism and other household jobs. To justify my viewpoint, I would like to give an example of a survey which was conducted by the University of Dhaka in 2022. The survey revealed the findings that older
people
 who have been doing some social activities and light
work
 like taxi driving, nursing etc have a
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
life
 than those who do only household
work
. Having discussed the arguments and counterarguments, I would like to infer that it totally depends on the
people
 what they will do after his/her
retirement
. But the government should take some steps to run some programmes where volunteers can inform the
people
 about the pros and cons of doing
work
 after
retirement
.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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