IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
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In modern times, the issue of doing
work
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 after
retirement
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 by human beings has become highly controversial. There are those who say that the public should not continue
work
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 after the age of pullout. Others believe that they should engage themselves in activity. I completely disagree with the opinion that
people
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 do not do anything after their evacuation
due to
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 several reasons that I will discuss in greater detail in my essay. Generally speaking, there are a number of reasons why the community supports
work
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 after
retirement
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. Perhaps the main reason why
people
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 are in favour of
this
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 is because of loneliness feelings. After
retirement
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, the maximum percentage of the
people
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 in our nation have passed a lonely
life
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. They have nothing to do except household
work
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 and social gatherings.
Additionally
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, children are not given proper company and
sometimes
Add a missing verb
are sometimes
show examples
 forced to
send
Wrong verb form
be sent
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to the old house.
Due to
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 loneliness, most of them go into depression.
Secondly
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, After
retirement
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, they feel like they are a burden to society.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 oppose the above statement for many reasons.
People
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 think that after
retirement
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 older
people
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 should pass their
life
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 in a beautiful way.
Moreover
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, they don't need to take the pressure. the government should give them benefits for passing their
life
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. They can keep them busy by doing some personal activities, like gardening, tourism and other household jobs. To justify my viewpoint, I would like to give an example of a survey which was conducted by the University of Dhaka in 2022. The survey revealed the findings that older
people
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 who have been doing some social activities and light
work
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 like taxi driving, nursing etc have a
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
life
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 than those who do only household
work
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. Having discussed the arguments and counterarguments, I would like to infer that it totally depends on the
people
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 what they will do after his/her
retirement
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. But the government should take some steps to run some programmes where volunteers can inform the
people
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 about the pros and cons of doing
work
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 after
retirement
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.
Submitted by tanvir0507 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • financial security
  • physical and mental health
  • youth unemployment
  • job opportunities
  • fresh perspectives
  • hobbies and interests
  • passionate workers
  • flexible retirement options
  • social security
  • recuperate
  • decades of hard work
  • contribute skills and experience
  • financial difficulties
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