IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid communuty work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #teenagers #communuty #work #time #benefit #community
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Nowadays
youth
Correct article usage
the youth
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 generation
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very
powerfull
Correct your spelling
powerful
, independent and one step forward in every field, situation and
work
Use synonyms
. Few mankind
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that youngsters should be ready to
giving
Change the verb
give
show examples
helping
Correct article usage
a helping
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 hand in
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 without any cost. So it will be
win-win
Add an article
a win-win
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 situation for teenagers
as well as
Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
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the community
show examples
. To
larger
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the larger
a larger
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extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 I will agree with the given statement which
i
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I
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 elaborate
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
trail
Correct your spelling
trial
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 paragraphs. To commence with,
first
Correct article usage
the first
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 and foremost
fruitfull
Correct your spelling
fruitful
fruitfully
 benefit is gain experience in
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 small age. They can
work
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 in every field like Food packing, Medicine packing
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
As a result
Linking Words
, the level of knowledge and experience will
be accumulate
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accumulate
show examples
. Another benefit is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Add an article
the youngster
a youngster
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youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
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 will meet a new
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 so personal contact
is create
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is created
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, communication skills are
also
Linking Words
 increased. To put
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 simple
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
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, they are
familier
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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 language, new culture and new people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the way of communication is
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 and they can able to fluent speech in another language.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some
younster
Correct your spelling
youngster
youngsters
 can give free schooling to poor people so they will improve their knowledge and share it with other students. So poor people
also
Linking Words
 can learn and
study
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if teenagers are ready to help
to
Verb problem
the
show examples
work
Use synonyms
community
Use synonyms
 in their leisure time
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 do not need to waste their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 salary and they can use that in
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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work
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, because of help juveniles can not focus on their
study
Use synonyms
 and
extra curriculum activity
Replace the word
extracurricular activities
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, they do not have enough time to play with their friends and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their
hobby
Fix the agreement mistake
hobbies
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 and dream. So their
study
Use synonyms
 will suffer,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
and at
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the end they can not
archieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
 their goals. On the close
scrunity
Correct your spelling
scrutiny
, I conclude that
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 with
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 without paid, it
ruin
Change the verb form
ruins
show examples
study
Use synonyms
 and personal interest.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that
help
Replace the word
helping
show examples
 to
community
Use synonyms
is improve
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
 knowledge, experience,
communication
Correct word choice
and communication
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 skills which is very
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 for
bright
Correct article usage
a bright
show examples
 future. It is the best way to use leisure time
instead
Linking Words
 of
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 it
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 non-beneficial activity.
Submitted by vrutikasurani9696 on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks clarity, focus, and depth in its arguments, leading to a weak task response.
coherence and cohesion
The essay generally lacks a clear logical structure, coherence, and cohesion. The ideas are presented in a disorganized and confusing manner, affecting the overall clarity of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in the choice of words. It also suffers from inaccuracies and lack of variety in sentence structures.
grammatical range
The essay shows a lack of control over grammar, leading to frequent errors in sentence structure, tense usage, and word forms. This affects the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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