It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Some individuals think that changes often have more advantages than trying to avoid them and have everything remain the same.I think that
people
get more benefits from
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
changes other than keeping
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
things
Firstly
,changes are often surrounded by advantages,even if someone
changed
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
something and it
came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
up having
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
disadvantages, they still got the experience and next time they might make
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a better decision.
Moreover
,as we change we are becoming better versions of ourselves and level up both our weak points and strong sides.
For example
,trying out a new sport may result in a new hobby
as well as
upgrading our body.
Secondly
,a lot of
people
find others who change their lives more attractive because they are not scared of something new,
while
many
people
nowadays
keep
Verb problem
have
show examples
a steady way of living.As you change you get more and more
people
in your friend circle and
this
will help you to make your life even better.It
also
results in not getting bored in life,as our world is so enormous and versatile.
For example
,my older brother who travels every week has a really big list of
people
in many world countries and speaking with them
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not let him
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
get bored.
To sum up
,it is obvious that the advantages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
question outweigh the disadvantages.Simply
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
do not lose anything
as
Change preposition
by
show examples
changing their being,
while
the number of benefits ,
such
as making new friends,leaving
the
Change the word
their
show examples
comfort zone and gaining more experience and more others, is huge.
Submitted by mrtwaterr on

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Task Response
Your essay contains some relevant points, but it lacks clear organization and coherent development. The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. You also need to provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement in your essay. Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and presented in a coherent manner. Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not strongly supported.
Lexical Resource
Your use of vocabulary and expressions is somewhat basic. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more sophisticated language to enhance your essay. Work on creating richer and more varied expressions.
Grammatical Range
Your essay contains a range of grammatical errors. Try to vary your sentence structure, avoid repetitive errors, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
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