It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

#change #people

Some individuals think that changes often have more advantages than trying to avoid them and have everything remain the same.I think that

people

get more benefits from

doing

Verb problem

making

show examples

changes other than keeping

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

things

Firstly

,changes are often surrounded by advantages,even if someone

changed

Wrong verb form

changes

show examples

something and it

came

Wrong verb form

comes

show examples

up having

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

disadvantages, they still got the experience and next time they might make

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a better decision.

Moreover

,as we change we are becoming better versions of ourselves and level up both our weak points and strong sides.

For example

,trying out a new sport may result in a new hobby

as well as

upgrading our body.

Secondly

,a lot of

people

find others who change their lives more attractive because they are not scared of something new,

while

many

people

nowadays

keep

Verb problem

have

show examples

a steady way of living.As you change you get more and more

people

in your friend circle and

this

will help you to make your life even better.It

also

results in not getting bored in life,as our world is so enormous and versatile.

For example

,my older brother who travels every week has a really big list of

people

in many world countries and speaking with them

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not let him

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

get bored.

To sum up

,it is obvious that the advantages

Change preposition

show examples

this

question outweigh the disadvantages.Simply

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

do not lose anything

Change preposition

show examples

changing their being,

while

the number of benefits ,

such

as making new friends,leaving

the

Change the word

their

show examples

comfort zone and gaining more experience and more others, is huge.

Submitted by mrtwaterr on Fri Nov 10 2023

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Task Response

Your essay contains some relevant points, but it lacks clear organization and coherent development. The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement. You also need to provide more relevant specific examples to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure needs improvement in your essay. Ensure that your ideas are logically connected and presented in a coherent manner. Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not strongly supported.

Lexical Resource

Your use of vocabulary and expressions is somewhat basic. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more sophisticated language to enhance your essay. Work on creating richer and more varied expressions.

Grammatical Range

Your essay contains a range of grammatical errors. Try to vary your sentence structure, avoid repetitive errors, and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

easily. In addition, the city is central to the state, trade, education and many sectors of the human being so society tends to find new experiences and broaden their horizon in the metropolitan which supports people’s capability at work.

Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion