Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed by some that
music
, art
and drama
are equally important as other subjects
at school, particularly, in the early years education
. I completely agree with Change preposition
of education
this
because it focuses on their holistic development and also
enhances their creativity skills.
Children
's engagement in music
, art
and drama
greatly supports their physical and mental health. This
is because,
these recreational Remove the comma
apply
activities
improve their gross and fine motor skills. For instance
, when children
get involve
in dance, it encourages their body movement. Change the form of the verb
involved
Art
activities
help them to know about
how to hold a brush or textures and the same way pretend play improves their linguistic skills. Change preposition
apply
For
this
reason, I strongly believe that these extracurricular activities
play a crucial role in their overall
development and are equally significant as other subjects
.
Children
's involvement in music
, art
and drama
make
them more creative. They learn how to express their emotions in other ways, without realizing the fact that some learning is happening by just involving in these things. A particularly good example of Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
this
is that art
teaches them how to put thoughts in to
a piece of paper, Join the words
into
music
stimulates their senses and allow
them to express themselves by using gestures and actions. Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
Also
, drama
activities
give them opportunity
for more social experience, which is why, I agree with the idea that Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
art
, music
and drama
play a crucial role in enhancing child's
cognitive abilities and are Correct article usage
a child's
similarly
important as other school subjects
.
In conclusion, I completely agree that music
, art
and drama
hold a
same importance as other school Correct article usage
the
subjects
, specifically, in children
's early years because these fun activities
contribute in
their Change preposition
to
overall
development and expand the scope of their imagination.Submitted by meghnabawa91 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay does not fully address the task and lacks clear and complete response to the prompt. The ideas are not consistently focused on the topic, and there is a need for more specific and comprehensive development of the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat developed, but there is room for improvement in the organization of ideas and the overall coherence. The use of cohesive devices and transition words can help improve the flow of the essay.
lexical resource
There is a good range of vocabulary used throughout the essay, but some imprecise and repetitive language choices are made. Greater variety and precision in vocabulary can enhance the quality of expression.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a fairly wide range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure, and tense consistency. A more careful attention to grammatical accuracy is needed to improve the overall quality of the language used.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite