More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

#students #travel #education

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

education

Use synonyms

has become an integral of

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

life

Use synonyms

with it people cannot achieve goals.

Therefore

Linking Words

for getting

Change preposition

to get

show examples

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

study students are migrating

Change preposition

show examples

big

cites

Correct your spelling

cities

show examples

. I

am totally disagree

Change the verb form

totally disagree

show examples

with

this

Linking Words

statement

Linking Words

due to

Change preposition

for

show examples

some reasons.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain all points in forthcoming paragraphs with relevant facts. There are plenty of

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

which will help to explain how

this

Linking Words

movement will

bring

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

show examples

impact on our society and country.

To begin

Linking Words

with, no doubt countries like Canada, America, United Kingdom and other rich lands are offering good quality of

education

Use synonyms

to learns. But, if

new

Add an article

the new

show examples

generation

will move

Wrong verb form

moves

show examples

there

for acquiring

Change preposition

to acquire

show examples

study

then

Linking Words

who will take care of their own nation because some decide to continue

Linking Words

further

Correct pronoun usage

their further

show examples

life

Use synonyms

Change the punctuation

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, making

decision

Add an article

the decision

a decision

show examples

to get admission in another state may fall

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

issues.

For example

Linking Words

, anxiety, depression, mental illness and other physical problems.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these days drug addiction is becoming

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

issue in

new

Add an article

the new

a new

show examples

generation. In the absence of parents, their children can choose

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

path

instead

Linking Words

of going

college

Change preposition

to college

show examples

universities

Fix the agreement mistake

university

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

will finish the

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

of pears as well

their

Correct word choice

as their

show examples

parents

too

Rephrase

apply

show examples

. Moving towards others bad impacts of relocating the

birth place

Correct your spelling

birthplace

show examples

this

Linking Words

decision may cause os burden because they have to balance their study with work as well.

For

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

survival

Replace the word

survive

show examples

in other

cities

Add a comma

cities,

show examples

they have to pay

schools

Change the noun form

school

show examples

charges, grocery bills and home

rents

Fix the agreement mistake

rent

show examples

own

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. Their parents cannot support them because all nations have different

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

of economy. To manage, all

such

Linking Words

things they

Add a missing verb

have to

show examples

do work for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

while

Linking Words

studying.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

management can teach them how to live

life

Use synonyms

in difficult situations without guardians. One advantage of

this

Linking Words

decision make their own country

more rich

Replace the words

richer

show examples

. After completing degrees in science, doctor,

teacher line

Replace the word

teaching

show examples

, engineering, and politics, they can give new

path

Fix the agreement mistake

paths

show examples

by doing new inventions or by opening

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

education

Use synonyms

places. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

statements

Fix the agreement mistake

statement

show examples

brings

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more drawbacks

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

positive

Fix the agreement mistake

positives

show examples

. I assume that students should continue

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

level of

education

Use synonyms

in their own place

instead

Linking Words

of leaving loved ones.

Submitted by harmandeep51075 on Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Improve your task response by carefully addressing each aspect of the prompt. Ensure that your essay clearly presents a well-structured argument that addresses both the advantages and drawbacks of students traveling abroad for further education.

coherence and cohesion

Work on improving the coherence and cohesion of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Additionally, provide a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your main points.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of lexical resources to add depth and clarity to your essay. Avoid repetition and strive for varied and precise language that enhances the overall quality of your writing.

grammatical range

Focus on improving the grammatical range of your writing by using a wider range of grammatical structures. This can help you express yourself more precisely and demonstrate a higher level of control over the English language.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is believed by some that the most enjoyable time in persons' life is the time when he is a teenager. I am convinced that despite all the responsibilities living as an adult is much more better. In this essay, I will introduce both sides as well as state my own opinion.
4
band
Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?
In the present day, there are a lot of costly products outhere, which is essential for everyone. The lion's share of that is about how much do we need to spend for cell phone or medical treatment. It is disagree that price as most important thing to think about when we need to make a payment. Eventually, the more we spend, the more we get so analysing this situation wil prove this.
8
band
In some countries,more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing excercise cleasses. what are the reasons for it? Is this a positive trend?
Personal trainers, in today's modernized era, become considerably ubiquitous and individuals tend to ask them for help in fitness places. This may lead us to pose a pivotal question, does this choice have a beneficial side or not? In this essay, I will examine this phenomenon from different viewpoints and elaborate my opinion.
4.5
band
In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
"Fast food is popular because it is convenient, it is cheap, and it tastes good. But the real cost of eating fast food never appears on the menu".-said Eric Schlosser. Naturally, today junk food is becoming daily consumption of ordinary people. From my point of view, it has not only negative effect on persons but on both our families and community.
7
band
Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In this contemporary epoch, a large proportion of the population is noted to be stuck in poverty across various nations. Higher levels of population and unemployment are the major reasons behind this. This essay will delve into the explanation of these reasons and possible remedies to deal with them around the globe.

More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries,more and more people are hiring personal fitness trainers, rather than playing sports or doing excercise cleasses. what are the reasons for it? Is this a positive trend?

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.