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More students travel abroad for further education do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater then the drawbacks

#students #travel #education
Nowadays,
education
 has become an integral of everyone's life with it people cannot achieve goals.
Therefore
, to get the best study students are migrating to big cities. I totally disagree with
this
 statement for some reasons.
This
 essay will explain all points in forthcoming paragraphs with relevant facts. There are plenty of reasons which will help to explain how
this
 movement will have a negative impact on our society and country.
To begin
 with, no doubt countries like Canada, America, United Kingdom and other rich lands are offering good quality of
education
 to learns. But, if the new generation moves there to acquire study
then
 who will take care of their own nation because some decide to continue their
further
 life?
Moreover
, making the decision to get admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 another state may fall into health-related issues.
For example
, anxiety, depression, mental illness and other physical problems.
Furthermore
, these days drug addiction is becoming a big issue in the new generation. In the absence of parents, their children can choose the wrong path
instead
 of going to college or university.
As a result
,
this
 will
finish
Verb problem
end
show examples
 the lives of
pears
Correct your spelling
peers
show examples
as well as
 their parents . Moving towards others bad impacts of relocating the birthplace,
this
 decision may cause os burden because they have to balance their study with work as well. To survive in other cities, they have to pay school charges, grocery bills and home rent . Their parents cannot support them because all nations have different levels of economy. To manage, all
such
 things they have to do work for a long time
while
 studying.
However
,
this
 management can teach them how to live life in difficult situations without guardians. One advantage of
this
 decision make their own country richer. After completing degrees in science, doctor, teaching, engineering, and politics, they can give new paths by doing new inventions or by opening the same
education
 places. In conclusion,
this
 statement brings more drawbacks than positives. I assume that students should continue a higher level of
education
 in their own place
instead
 of leaving loved ones.
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

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Task Response
The essay does not effectively address the prompt. The arguments lack coherence and cohesion, and the ideas are not logically structured.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction is weak and lacks a clear thesis statement. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points. The essay lacks a clear progression of ideas and linking devices.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. There are errors and inaccuracies in word choice and expression.
Grammatical Range
There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and sentence structure. Complex structures are attempted but not always successful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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