More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

One of the most popular hobbies in the world is camping, and some aspects of

this

are very dangerous, but there are

also

many beneficial aspects for human health. Many people do not have time to relax when they are on vacation or want to relax in a quiet place for holidays or some events. Every time

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have a chance to choose for vocation and

then

they prefer the mountain or that type of space because. Nowadays all plays are noisy

for example

workplace parks or restaurants. So the

mountains

and their surroundings are very beautiful and the main thing is the air because there are many trees there and most importantly there is a construction or production campaign there. And

this

is very useful for human health. and mostly in the city, there is a lot of toxic air that's why many people like the

mountains

. But in the

mountains

, mostly wild animals live around the

mountains

for example

, there are many snakes, wolves, foxes and similar evil animals.

This

this

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

poses a great danger to human life.

For example

, when people are walking, animals can be thrown at them, or snakes can come and bite

while

they are picnicking.And the most basic and most dangerous thing is that you can slip down from the mountain.

In addition

, there can be rock avalanches on the mountain or rapid weather changes. it may rain quickly. In conclusion,If a person takes all safety measures,

this

hobby will be very profitable. But if there are no safety measures,

this

bad end can end in death

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide a more specific thesis statement in the introduction. For instance, mention if you believe the trend towards dangerous activities is primarily positive or negative and briefly why.

coherence cohesion

Clarify your second point earlier in the paragraph to make it clear that you are speaking about the hazards in mountain activities. This can help to ensure your argument is understood more easily.

coherence cohesion

Avoid run-on sentences and segment your ideas into shorter, more concise sentences. This will make your points clearer and easier to follow.

task achievement

The essay provides valid points regarding both the positive and negative aspects of participating in potentially dangerous activities such as mountain climbing.

coherence cohesion

The use of specific examples, such as wild animals and rock avalanches, helps to support the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion summarizes the main ideas well and reinforces the need for safety measures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.
With the accessibility to various translation software at this point of technological development in our society, learning a language might be set aside as a time-wasting job to get started with, unlike how highly-respected it was years ago. People tend to rely on translation applications instead of spending effort and time actually studying the language, using multiple excuses to avoid taking part in linguistic classes or even too ignorant to enhance those skills on their own. No matter how advanced technology gets, learning a language still could be advantageous for us in different fields.
5
band
At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is universally accepted that the world population is experiencing an increase trend, which can be noticed clearer in the developing countries. Considering this trend, a heated debate has occurred around the topic of whether the booming population, resulting in younger inhabitants, will be more advantageous or not. In my opinion, the benefits offerred by the rejuvenation of workers certainly are more considerable compared to the losses. This essay will demonstrate this perspective and give a conclusion.
8
band
Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.
In today's world, an ongoing debate centres on whether governments should prioritize arts subsidies over other alternatives in order to improve people's quality of life. This essay aims to explore both perspectives and arguments against subsidizing the arts at the expense of other alternatives for both developing and developed land.
5
band
Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence ehance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?
Whether learners should use computer specially the Internet is an interesting discussion point. This writer argues that access to valuable resource.
6.5
band
In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries and some cultures, working outside the house is a tabu for women and they believe mothers should only take care of children and the household. Most of these beliefs came from developing countries and third-world nations. However, it is totally usual for a woman to work in developed countries.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence ehance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?

In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+