More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

One of the most popular hobbies in the world is camping, and some aspects of

this

are very dangerous, but there are

also

many beneficial aspects for human health. Many people do not have time to relax when they are on vacation or want to relax in a quiet place for holidays or some events. Every time

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have a chance to choose for vocation and

then

they prefer the mountain or that type of space because. Nowadays all plays are noisy

for example

workplace parks or restaurants. So the

mountains

and their surroundings are very beautiful and the main thing is the air because there are many trees there and most importantly there is a construction or production campaign there. And

this

is very useful for human health. and mostly in the city, there is a lot of toxic air that's why many people like the

mountains

. But in the

mountains

, mostly wild animals live around the

mountains

for example

, there are many snakes, wolves, foxes and similar evil animals.

This

this

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

poses a great danger to human life.

For example

, when people are walking, animals can be thrown at them, or snakes can come and bite

while

they are picnicking.And the most basic and most dangerous thing is that you can slip down from the mountain.

In addition

, there can be rock avalanches on the mountain or rapid weather changes. it may rain quickly. In conclusion,If a person takes all safety measures,

this

hobby will be very profitable. But if there are no safety measures,

this

bad end can end in death

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 27 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to provide a more specific thesis statement in the introduction. For instance, mention if you believe the trend towards dangerous activities is primarily positive or negative and briefly why.

coherence cohesion

Clarify your second point earlier in the paragraph to make it clear that you are speaking about the hazards in mountain activities. This can help to ensure your argument is understood more easily.

coherence cohesion

Avoid run-on sentences and segment your ideas into shorter, more concise sentences. This will make your points clearer and easier to follow.

task achievement

The essay provides valid points regarding both the positive and negative aspects of participating in potentially dangerous activities such as mountain climbing.

coherence cohesion

The use of specific examples, such as wild animals and rock avalanches, helps to support the main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion summarizes the main ideas well and reinforces the need for safety measures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

5.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?
Is is often considered that a few individuals reckon that on the vehicle-free days, cities have to ban private cars, trucks and motorcycles from city center. Whereas, many populations are encouraged to use public transport like buses, taxis and metro on the vehicle-free days. Thus, this essay will elaborate on both positive and negative sides which further leads to a logical conclusion.
5.5
band
Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, technology plays a vital role in everybody's life. A day starts with technology and ends with technology. We cannot imagine our life without gadgets. There are some pros and cons of every single thing as same with networking social sites such as Instagram and Facebook. Some people stated that having these types of facilities has a negative on people and society. Accoding to my point of view, I cannot ignore the positive impact of social network sites which help us to connect with friends from different countries, marketplace where we can sell and buy things at reasonable prices, and learn about different languages by connecting through social apps.
6
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.
Recently, work life has become a hot topic everyone is talking about. A handful of the population work all their lives under one company while others perfoorm under many different companies. This essay will discuss both of these sides and will state my opinion on it.
4
band
As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Travelling by plane is the mode of accomodation that is mostly preferred by travellers with far destinations. Lately, the Indonesian government has come up with plans that make flights cheaper, leading to more international flights occuring. This is backed up by the intention to promote the growth of the nation's economy. However, this endeavour has sparked both benefits and drawbacks. Hence, this upcoming essay will discuss those pros and cons.
6.5
band
Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?
Nowadays, education and teaching are changing rapidly, which causes students to become more and more reliant on digital technologies. These digital technologies help students become independent learners. However, traditional methods which are used in many educational institutions make students develop their intellectual abilities. I strongly agree with the second proposition that conventional methods of learning are more efficient.

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?