Write an essay to an educated reader to compare and contrast the childhood of the previous generations with that of the current generations. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Childhood is a phase of life marked by innocence, curiosity, and exploration.
However
, the experience of childhood has evolved significantly over the generations, influenced by changes in society, technology, and culture.
This
essay will compare and contrast the childhood of previous generations with that of the current generation. The first difference lies in the education about critical thinking
skills
.
Children
of previous generations did not have good critical thinking
skills
because they could not raise their
voice
Fix the agreement mistake
voices
show examples
. In the classrooms,
teachers
talked all the time and
students
just listened because the education system was influenced by Confucianism.
Therefore
,
students
were not allowed to ask
teachers
questions because
this
was a challenge to the
teachers
.
As a result
,
students
obeyed whatever
teachers
said and did not need to create new ideas, so they were not creative.
In contrast
, nowadays,
children
are given opportunities to express their opinions. They are the center of the classrooms and they have freedom of speech. Some schools often organize debate competitions for
students
to develop critical thinking
skills
.
Moreover
,
students
have easy access to different sources of information and have good critical thinking
skills
. Another difference can be witnessed in the ways of entertainment. In the past,
children
relied on simpler, often outdoor activities
such
as tag, hide-and-seek, and hopscotch in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
streets. They spent hours building treehouses, exploring nature, or riding bicycles.
In addition
, traditional toys like marbles, jacks, and dolls were cherished possessions, and imagination played a pivotal role in creating games and connecting closely with nature. Today's
children
,
in contrast
, have a plethora of digital options for entertainment. The advent of smartphones, tablets, and computers has transformed the way they engage with the world. Video games, streaming services, and social media platforms have become dominant sources of amusement. They can interact with friends virtually,
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
YouTubers or
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
online games together.
While
these technologies offer diverse and engaging experiences, there is a growing concern about screen time and its potential impact on physical activity and social
skills
. In conclusion, there are many differences between
children
in the past and today,
such
as education and entertainment.
This
also
represents the development of society.
Submitted by teachingqa272 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear comparison and contrast of childhood experiences across generations. The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, and the main points are adequately supported with relevant examples. However, there is room for improvement in organizing the logical structure of the essay to further enhance coherence and cohesion.
task response
The essay effectively addresses the task by comparing and contrasting childhood experiences of previous generations with those of the current generation. The ideas are clear and comprehensive, and relevant examples are provided. However, the logical structure could be further developed to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good command of lexical resources, with varied vocabulary and appropriate use of academic language. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more sophisticated vocabulary to further enrich the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a solid grammatical range, with mostly accurate use of complex structures. However, there are instances of repetitive language and minor grammatical errors that could be addressed to enhance the overall grammatical range of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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