Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss both advantages and disadvantage of advertising. Include reasons and any revelant examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays,
peope
Correct your spelling
people
are used to
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
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advertising in their life, especially in their social media.
Although
Linking Words
it really helps their needs, using advertising
also
Linking Words
gives them some disadvantages. It is more like
double edge
Replace the word
a double-edged
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sword,
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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on how someone uses it.
First
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The first
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thing that comes to every people's mind about marketing is spreading good reviews about their market's stock, in case they are a seller. Especially today we need more ways to make our products known by
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
Therefore
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, we
use
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online advertising to create the way.
Second
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The second
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thing that makes people
use
Use synonyms
advertising is its flexibility. No
like
Correct your spelling
Unlike
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another kinds
Replace the adjective
another kind
other kinds
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of advertising, the online one is more flexible than
another
Fix the agreement mistake
the other
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one. Like,
facebook's
Change noun form
facebook
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users prefer using
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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ads because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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can
reachs
Correct your spelling
reach
several times people in
short
Add an article
a short
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time.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
gives
Verb problem
has
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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disadvantages. Like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good reviews or news can be spread easily, advertising causes the bad ones spread
masively
Correct your spelling
massively
either. Of course, for
Fix the agreement mistake
sellers
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seller
Add a comma
seller,
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it is a bad thing.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, kids
also
Linking Words
can receive bad
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
from the spreading of some
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
. So, we have to
use
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising wisely and take the advantages
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
the disadvantages.
Submitted by nurfaqihmuh on

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task response
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising, but the examples and explanations are not well-developed. It lacks depth and specific details to support the points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear, and the essay lacks a strong conclusion. There is a need for better organization and development of ideas.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but there is a need for more precise and sophisticated language to articulate ideas effectively.
grammatical range
The essay contains several grammatical errors and lacks sentence variety and complexity. There is a need for more attention to grammar and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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