Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

#people #children #members #e #g #uncle #aunt #grandparents #parents

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

From the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

of human existence family always was the centre of gathering during different times of the year. Considering nowadays life, fewer people tend to have

children

, and if there is a child they will probably be raised by their grandparents

due to

several factors which we will discuss in the following

paragraghs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

. On one hand, most studies have shown that

children

need to interact with others.

Firstly

, one of the contributors to developing a child`s personality and social behaviour is how they respond to various situations. With all said and done, these

children

can handle social events better.

secondly

, biologically it has been proven the immune system of those

children

who experience an active social life and have been exposed to nature (especially soil) is exceptionally good.

Thus

they will less suffer from cold.

On the other hand

, the number of couples who want a child has dropped during the

last

decades

due to

the constant rise in the cost of living, and

as a result

, the rate of birth has fallen dramatically.

This

also

indicates less

children

enjoy having an extended family

such

as uncles and aunts nowadays, so parents should take care of their

children

or hire someone to do the job for them. It is elegant that

children

must be supervised by their parents. to summarize, depends on the situation

children

might be raised by different people. In my opinion, it is definitely obvious parents play a crucial role in their upbringing which will directly affect their traits and manners.

Submitted by negarhosseini_78 on Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay shows some level of coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported to some extent, but there could be better organization and development of ideas.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a partial response to the task, with some relevant ideas presented, but lacks depth and development. More specific examples and detailed explanations would further enhance the task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

extended family
support
emotional stability
diverse experiences
perspectives
strong bonds
sense of belonging
multiple caregivers
burden
balanced parenting
find a balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
The technologies of transportation vehicles have been developed to be driverless which will drive people to travel without any human driver anymore. The public has looked for the benefits of this technology, while some others still argue that it will have some disadvantages. I strongly believe that the disadvantage of driverless outweighs the advantages.
6
band
Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Rapid advancement in technology in the modern world expands the possibility to improve the quality of life on Earth in future. While some people support that financial investment in space exploration should be made by governments, I generally disagree with this idea for the following reasons.
4
band
In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?
Few young people perform or attend classical music concerts in certain countries. This is because they follow the modern era, where people tend to listen to modern music. They need to learn and take part in traditional music, so make them appreciate it.
8.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has ask for your advice. write a letter to your friednd.in your letter explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer
I know that you have decided to join the camping group to spend your summer vacation and you asked my opinion about that. You know that I went camping a couple of times and, to be honest, I should say that it was really enjoyable. But don’t forget to consider some points while choosing the group that you are going with. The one that I joined, had a really supportive leader and she was constantly checking everything from the status of our accommodation to the places that we wanted to go to. Also, she was really sensitive about choosing the people who were joining the team as she believed that good accompanies can make a camping memory memorable or horrible, and I should say that I totally agree with her. Everything was absolutely nice except not having a toilet which was kind of torturing for me as well as sleeping outside that I couldn’t feel safe with. Considering all these points, I still tend to attend another camping as the negative points could not stop me from enjoying the mom...
5
band
Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
It argued that homeschooling for the toddlers is the best option in comparison with send them to the kindergarten. In my personal opinion, attending actual kindergarten is the best option for children in their early childhood for two main reasons. First, conventional kindergarten is much more efficient in budget. Then, the needs for socialization which an important factor for youngster mental development only can be fulfilled by attending kindergarten.

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

Your opinion

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.