Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

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From the

begining

Correct your spelling

beginning

of human existence family always was the centre of gathering during different times of the year. Considering nowadays life, fewer people tend to have

children

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, and if there is a child they will probably be raised by their grandparents

due to

Linking Words

several factors which we will discuss in the following

paragraghs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

. On one hand, most studies have shown that

children

Use synonyms

need to interact with others.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the contributors to developing a child`s personality and social behaviour is how they respond to various situations. With all said and done, these

children

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can handle social events better.

secondly

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, biologically it has been proven the immune system of those

children

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who experience an active social life and have been exposed to nature (especially soil) is exceptionally good.

Thus

Linking Words

they will less suffer from cold.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the number of couples who want a child has dropped during the

last

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decades

due to

Linking Words

the constant rise in the cost of living, and

as a result

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, the rate of birth has fallen dramatically.

This

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also

Linking Words

indicates less

children

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enjoy having an extended family

such

Linking Words

as uncles and aunts nowadays, so parents should take care of their

children

Use synonyms

or hire someone to do the job for them. It is elegant that

children

Use synonyms

must be supervised by their parents. to summarize, depends on the situation

children

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might be raised by different people. In my opinion, it is definitely obvious parents play a crucial role in their upbringing which will directly affect their traits and manners.

negarhosseini_78Sat Nov 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay shows some level of coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported to some extent, but there could be better organization and development of ideas.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a partial response to the task, with some relevant ideas presented, but lacks depth and development. More specific examples and detailed explanations would further enhance the task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extended family
support
emotional stability
diverse experiences
perspectives
strong bonds
sense of belonging
multiple caregivers
burden
balanced parenting
find a balance

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Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

Your opinion

The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this.

There is an increasing trend round the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are some advantages and disadvantages of having a small family rather than a large family?

Some experts believe that a second language should be taught at an early age. Do the advantages ouyweigh the disadvantages

Should the government fund the education and healthcare system? What is your opinion?