Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (e.g. Uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion.

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begining
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beginning

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of human existence family always was the centre of gathering during different times of the year. Considering nowadays life, fewer people tend to have
children
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, and if there is a child they will probably be raised by their grandparents
due to
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several factors which we will discuss in the following
paragraghs
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. On one hand, most studies have shown that
children
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need to interact with others.
Firstly
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, one of the contributors to developing a child`s personality and social behaviour is how they respond to various situations. With all said and done, these
children
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can handle social events better.
secondly
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, biologically it has been proven the immune system of those
children
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who experience an active social life and have been exposed to nature (especially soil) is exceptionally good.
Thus
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they will less suffer from cold.
On the other hand
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, the number of couples who want a child has dropped during the
last
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decades
due to
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the constant rise in the cost of living, and
as a result
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, the rate of birth has fallen dramatically.
This
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also
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indicates less
children
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enjoy having an extended family
such
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as uncles and aunts nowadays, so parents should take care of their
children
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or hire someone to do the job for them. It is elegant that
children
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must be supervised by their parents. to summarize, depends on the situation
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

might be raised by different people. In my opinion, it is definitely obvious parents play a crucial role in their upbringing which will directly affect their traits and manners.

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coherence cohesion
The essay shows some level of coherence and cohesion with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported to some extent, but there could be better organization and development of ideas.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a partial response to the task, with some relevant ideas presented, but lacks depth and development. More specific examples and detailed explanations would further enhance the task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • extended family
  • support
  • emotional stability
  • diverse experiences
  • perspectives
  • strong bonds
  • sense of belonging
  • multiple caregivers
  • burden
  • balanced parenting
  • find a balance
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