During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a bussinessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this bussinessman. In your letter • remind him when and where you met • tell him what kind of job you are interested in • say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #journey #bussinessman #chain #restaurants #contact #job

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Dear Sir, I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to bring your attention towards a statement that you have made about offering a job in one of your places.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I want to remind you that we met each other on 6th July at Chicago Airport.

Also

Linking Words

, I was sitting right next to you on seat number B03.

Secondly

Linking Words

, you told me a lot about your business. You said that you have

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

show examples

of restaurants and you advised me to take a place in one of them.

Additionally

Linking Words

, you mentioned that I have to contact you directly about

this

Linking Words

situation.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, I am really into cooking. So,

that is

Linking Words

why I want to be a cook at your Turkish restaurant. I highly recommend you

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

choose me ,

due to

Linking Words

my knowledge of cooking skills. I worked as a chef at a restaurant called Canada a year ago. I left my position because of my studies. Now I have graduated

the

Change preposition

from the

show examples

University of California and my major

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

engineering .

However

Linking Words

, I am not interested in

this

Linking Words

job. So, I decided to be

food

Correct article usage

a food

show examples

preparer. I can say that I am

master

Correct article usage

a master

show examples

at cooking. My previous manager said all good

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

about me. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Mohinur

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Tue Aug 13 2024

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grammar

Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to improve clarity and coherence.

content

Consider elaborating more on your relevant experience and skills to strengthen your suitability for the job.

tone

The letter opens and closes with polite and appropriate greetings, maintaining a suitable tone throughout.

task achievement

The main points are clearly addressed, including where and when you met, the job you're interested in, and why you're suitable for the job.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

210 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Hospitality industry, culinary arts, managerial skills, customer service, gastronomy, adept, team player, interpersonal skills, innovative, culinary expertise, food connoisseur, dynamic environment, business acumen, networking opportunity, mentorship, gourmet, epicurean, food enthusiast, resilience, career aspirations

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