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Writing Samples
Band 6

the line graph below shows changes in the a mount and type of fast food consumed by australian teenagers from 1975 to 20000

the line graph below shows changes in the a mount and type of fast food consumed by australian teenagers from 1975 to 20000
#line #changes #mount #type #food #australian #teenagers
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The above line graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by
autralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 teenagers from 1975 to 2000.
Consuption
Correct your spelling
Consumption
 of
handburgers
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
 and pizza
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased from the
year
Use synonyms
 1975 to 2000 . We could
also
Linking Words
 see
Add an article
the
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downfall of
fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
 in the
autralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
market
Use synonyms
 .
Fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
 were
rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
pulling
 the fast food
market
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1975. The were
abot
Correct your spelling
about
 100
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
times
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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eaten per
year
Use synonyms
 ,In the
year
Use synonyms
 1980 the
fish
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 and
chips
Use synonyms
market
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 equal to
Correct article usage
the hamburgers
show examples
hamburgers
Fix the agreement mistake
hamburger
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 . Australian people started to consume
hamburgs
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
Hamburg
 from 15 to 95 , the growth was
incredeble
Correct your spelling
incredible
.By the
year
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 2000
hamburgs
Correct your spelling
hamburgers
market
Use synonyms
 started to rule
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
show examples
 food
market
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. On the other side
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pizza
consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 was rising in silence, It was less than 5 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1975 but it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached
to
Change preposition
apply
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82 in the
year
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 2000. In the
year
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1990
Add a comma
1990,
show examples
 the
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
fish
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 and chip
Use synonyms
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
 were equal to
pizza
Correct article usage
the pizza
show examples
market
Use synonyms
.
Fish
Use synonyms
 and
chips
Use synonyms
mrket
Correct your spelling
market
 has just about 39 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, fish, chips, market with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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