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Band 2

Number of tourists visiting a Caribbean island (2010-2017)

#tourists #caribbean #island
The graph compares the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of visitors who came to a Caribbean
island
 over the period of seven years( 2010-2017).
Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that the total number of tourists, visiting Caribbean
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 always increased during the given period.
Additionally
, the figure for visitors staying on cruise ships was lower than that
,
Change preposition
of, who
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 decided to choose
staying
Change the verb form
to stay
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 on
island
Add an article
the island
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. Looking at the highest rate, the
tolal
Correct your spelling
total
 number of
new comers
Correct your spelling
newcomers
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showed
Verb problem
was
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 exactly 1 million in 2010, before increasing slightly to 2.5millions
till
Change preposition
in
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 2014 and
this
 figure remained stable at around
2.7millions
Correct your spelling
2.7 million
 in the following year, before reaching a
pick
Correct your spelling
peak
show examples
 at
3.5millions
Correct your spelling
3.5 million
 in 2017. Turning to the lower rates, people who chose cruise ships mostly experienced a level off in 2010, 2011 and from 2013 to 2015 (
1.5millions
Correct your spelling
1.5 million
) and witnessed a small drop in 2016, but increased to
1.5millions
Correct your spelling
1.5 million
 in the following year.
While
 the number of travellers staying on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 lower than
1million
Correct your spelling
1 million
 till 2014,
however
,
this
 rate showed a slight increase till the end of the given period.
Submitted by sevara19alimova on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay provides an overview of the data but lacks specific details and adequate comparisons. It is important to ensure that the key features of the graph are fully addressed, including trends, comparisons, and specific data points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: While the essay is organized into paragraphs, the logical structure and use of linking words need improvement. The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly defined, and the main points should be better supported with appropriate examples.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: There is a range of vocabulary used, but there are some inaccuracies and imprecise word choices. The expression of ideas is somewhat limited, and there is potential for more varied and precise language use.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are also some errors in subject-verb agreement and tense usage. More complex structures and grammatical accuracy are needed for a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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