Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In recent years, we might
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
children
in public
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in
school
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
a
phone
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
any
occasions
Fix the agreement mistake
occasion
show examples
such
as playing games, watching videos on the internet, or just scrolling social media,
while
the
school
actually not
permitted
Wrong verb form
permit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students to borrow their
phone
when in study time at
school
because infrequently, the
children
have a less of concentration if they are using too much screen time during the
school
day. Over the course of the years, most people mainly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents enriched by the information that appear in any sources
such
as newspaper, magazine, brochure, and particularly
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
authors tell them in their papers that appear on either blogs or social media about how
phone
plays an important role
to influences
Change preposition
in influencing
show examples
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
habit nowadays and how
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
can affect their
children
's behaviour. As can be seen, not all content creators have a good way
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
influencing their
viewer
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
the
children
. Some
children
may follow a bad thing
instead
of a good one if they have no parental guidance in using
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
wisely. But, maybe the
phone
is one of some tools that they claim as a thing that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a function as their stress reliever. So, based on that I hold the same opinion
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
others that believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
should be allowed to use
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, but I think the parents still have an important role to give any barriers to them.
For instance
, the
children
would be allowed to use the
phone
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
it is not a
school
day and when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
school
day their parents should be rigour to their
children
to follow the rules.
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Task Response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of children using phones at home. Provide a balanced view and support each point with relevant examples and reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words to express ideas. Avoid repetition and consider using varied sentence structures to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and verb tenses to achieve greater grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence structures and aim for clear and concise expression of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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