Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In recent years, we might
found
Wrong verb form
find
the
Correct determiner usage
that
children
in public specially
in Replace the word
especially
school
were
Verb problem
apply
playing
a Wrong verb form
play
phone
for
any Change preposition
on
occasions
Fix the agreement mistake
occasion
such
as playing games, watching videos on the internet, or just scrolling social media, while
the school
actually not permitted
Wrong verb form
permit
the
students to borrow their Correct article usage
apply
phone
when in study time at school
because infrequently, the children
have a less of concentration if they are using too much screen time during the school
day.
Over the course of the years, most people mainly the
parents enriched by the information that appear in any sources Correct article usage
apply
such
as newspaper, magazine, brochure, and particularly Add an article
the internet
internet
. Some Capitalize word
Internet
of
authors tell them in their papers that appear on either blogs or social media about how Change preposition
apply
phone
plays an important role to influences
Change preposition
in influencing
children
habit nowadays and how Change noun form
children's
the
Correct article usage
apply
phone
can affect their children
's behaviour.
As can be seen, not all content creators have a good way in
influencing their Change preposition
of
viewer
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
especially
the Add the comma(s)
, especially
children
. Some children
may follow a bad thing instead
of a good one if they have no parental guidance in using phone
wisely. But, maybe the Fix the agreement mistake
phones
phone
is one of some tools that they claim as a thing that have
a function as their stress reliever.
So, based on that I hold the same opinion Change the verb form
has
with
others that believe Change preposition
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
children
should be allowed to use Add an article
the phone
a phone
phone
, but I think the parents still have an important role to give any barriers to them. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
For instance
, the children
would be allowed to use the phone
while
it is not a Correct word choice
when
school
day and when the
Correct your spelling
they
school
day their parents should be rigour to their children
to follow the rules.Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on
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Task Response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of children using phones at home. Provide a balanced view and support each point with relevant examples and reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize the essay with clear topic sentences, supporting details, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate words to express ideas. Avoid repetition and consider using varied sentence structures to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, punctuation, and verb tenses to achieve greater grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence structures and aim for clear and concise expression of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.