IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas are the main source of many countries. However some nations are using alternative energy such as wind power and solar power. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

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Nowadays, numerous countries still depend on fossil fuels, including coal, oil, and natural gas, for their power.
However
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, an increasing number of nations are shifting to alternative sources of
energy
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,
such
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 as solar and wind power. The benefits of
such
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 an approach far outweigh the potential drawbacks, as it fosters environmental sustainability and
energy
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 security, despite some potential challenges associated with
this
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 transition. Shifting to renewable
energy
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 sources is crucial for reducing the detrimental impacts of climate change, largely caused by greenhouse gas emissions from fossil
energy
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 sources.
For instance
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, China, is indeed a global leader in the shift towards renewable
energy
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 particularly in solar and wind power, resulting in a substantial reduction in carbon emissions.
This
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 drive towards renewable
energy
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 may mitigate the risk of catastrophic climate change scenarios.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 alternative
energy
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,
such
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 as solar panels, reduces the over-reliance on depleting hydrocarbons. Thereby, enhancing and providing sustainable
energy
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 for future generations.
This
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 initiative does not only address the pressing global issue but
also
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 provides opportunities rooted in innovation and job creation within the renewable sector. Public health is one of the major concerns of most countries, resulting in their transition to renewable
energy
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. Undeniably, air pollution released by carbon-based fuels is linked with respiratory issues causing millions of deaths.
For instance
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, Iceland's electricity grid is primarily powered by hydroelectric and geothermal
energy
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. Iceland's transition from fossil fuels has reduced air pollution, improved air quality, and decreased respiratory illnesses, making them a less prominent leading cause of death. In conclusion, transitioning to renewable
energy
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 presents certain challenges, but the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks. The pursuit of sustainable
energy
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 can foster economic growth and sustain
energy
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 security.

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task achievement
Consider providing even more specific examples and data to further support your points, particularly in the section discussing the benefits of renewable energy.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to strengthen the flow of your argument. While the essay is generally coherent, some sentences could be more clearly connected.
coherence and cohesion
You could enhance the introduction by summarizing the significance of the topic before presenting your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and presents a clear thesis statement.
task achievement
The specific examples, such as China's leadership in renewable energy and Iceland's use of hydroelectric power, demonstrate a concrete understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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