IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that, the best way to motivate and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. I agree to a larger extent to the given statement and my inclination is elaborated in the following write-ups. The foremost reason to agree with the given statement is: When
people
Use synonyms
 are rewarded or paid
accordingly
Linking Words
, there is a comepetition created in the
system
Use synonyms
 and in
this
Linking Words
 race, everyone would love to get first and earn more
money
Use synonyms
. Like when we suppose a company which pays
according to
Linking Words
 how much
work
Use synonyms
 we do and how many products we sell,
then
Linking Words
 the employees would push thier limits and would
work
Use synonyms
 really hard to achieve success. Another reason for agreeing with the statement is: As
people
Use synonyms
 would earn more
money
Use synonyms
 based on their
work
Use synonyms
, they will spend more
money
Use synonyms
 buying things and
this
Linking Words
 would start rotation of
money
Use synonyms
, so the poor
people
Use synonyms
 could earn
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
 would help the governmnet to manage things, Nowadays there are so many
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 hard but they are not paid enough, so there would be justice for everyone.
However
Linking Words
, there are side effects to
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 like, when
this
Linking Words
 type of scheme is started there would be dirty politics played, like few
people
Use synonyms
 would cheat the
system
Use synonyms
 and they would take more
money
Use synonyms
. There would be conflicts created between employees as
people
Use synonyms
 would feel jealous of eachother.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we can say that
this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
 would
work
Use synonyms
 well, but only thing is that the rules and regulations should be implimented and followed strictly and there should not be any sort of conflicts, other wise
this
Linking Words
 is really nice scheme, so that the deserving
people
Use synonyms
 get rewarded.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Address the prompt with a clear opinion and supporting points. Ensure ideas are fully developed and examples are relevant.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically with a clear introduction and conclusion. Use linking words and transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate more precise word choice. Show awareness of collocation and word forms.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of structures, including complex sentences, varied sentence length, and accurate use of grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivate
  • encourage
  • productivity
  • performance-based pay
  • objective assessment
  • collaboration
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • stress
  • burnout
  • job satisfaction
  • compensation strategy
  • quantify
  • supportive work environment
  • professional development
  • recognition programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: