IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some think that the best way to motivate and encourage people to work hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell.   To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#think #people #work
It is often argued that, the best way to motivate and encourage
people
 to
work
 hard is to pay them based on how much they produce and sell. I agree to a larger extent to the given statement and my inclination is elaborated in the following write-ups. The foremost reason to agree with the given statement is: When
people
 are rewarded or paid
accordingly
, there is a comepetition created in the
system
 and in
this
 race, everyone would love to get first and earn more
money
. Like when we suppose a company which pays
according to
 how much
work
 we do and how many products we sell,
then
 the employees would push thier limits and would
work
 really hard to achieve success. Another reason for agreeing with the statement is: As
people
 would earn more
money
 based on their
work
, they will spend more
money
 buying things and
this
 would start rotation of
money
, so the poor
people
 could earn
money
.
This
system
 would help the governmnet to manage things, Nowadays there are so many
people
 who
work
 hard but they are not paid enough, so there would be justice for everyone.
However
, there are side effects to
this
also
 like, when
this
 type of scheme is started there would be dirty politics played, like few
people
 would cheat the
system
 and they would take more
money
. There would be conflicts created between employees as
people
 would feel jealous of eachother.
To sum up
, we can say that
this
system
 would
work
 well, but only thing is that the rules and regulations should be implimented and followed strictly and there should not be any sort of conflicts, other wise
this
 is really nice scheme, so that the deserving
people
 get rewarded.
Submitted by vrajgirigosai0079 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Address the prompt with a clear opinion and supporting points. Ensure ideas are fully developed and examples are relevant.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically with a clear introduction and conclusion. Use linking words and transitions to connect ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate more precise word choice. Show awareness of collocation and word forms.
grammatical range
Demonstrate a wider range of structures, including complex sentences, varied sentence length, and accurate use of grammar and punctuation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • motivate
  • encourage
  • productivity
  • performance-based pay
  • objective assessment
  • collaboration
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • stress
  • burnout
  • job satisfaction
  • compensation strategy
  • quantify
  • supportive work environment
  • professional development
  • recognition programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: