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Band 2

Nowadays, some people are changing their way of look through hair colour, cosmetics and even plastic surgerie. What are the reasons? Is it a good thing?

#people #hair #colour #cosmetics #plastic #surgerie
At present, many people around the world
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 for
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 way to look
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
prettier and be in good shape and
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 younger. Their like to be
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 natural hair colour and use less
filier
Correct your spelling
filler
filter
 and other surgeries for several reasons.
For instance
,
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 higher price than
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 natural
prodect
Correct your spelling
products
product
 like cream face ,
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 healthy food and taking care of
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 body from
inside
Correct article usage
the inside
show examples
besides
 what they follow,
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social media has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 or good impact on what the perfect look could be. Famous people what they wear and look
has
Wrong verb form
like have
show examples
 effects
although
 that be bad things for some people others can take the great ideas from influence and
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 the unimportant things. On the flip side, surgery doctors
also
Rephrase
as well as
show examples
hair
dresser
Fix the agreement mistake
dressers
show examples
,may
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 others who
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 no need for any change for botox and facial lifting or plastic
surgerie
Correct your spelling
surgery
surgeries
 just for money and
this
 is not fair or legal.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my point of view, everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 beauty and
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 so, everyone should work on
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
self-steam
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
show examples
 and love their one look.
Submitted by rawan.13mm on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a somewhat limited development of ideas and lacks in logical progression. Ensure that your ideas and examples are well-organized and connect logically to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your response touches on the main points but lacks exemplification and focus. Provide more specific examples to support your ideas and ensure that your response addresses all aspects of the question.
lexical resource
Your lexical resource shows a range of vocabulary, but some words are used inappropriately. Aim for greater precision in vocabulary usage to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite basic, and there are sentence structure errors. Work on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to enhance your overall communication.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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