In many places,new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside.some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.what is your opinion about this?

In all countries,
people
need to live in houses
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world.in numerous
places
,individuals
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
their homes for living and have no
place
in the
cities
and few
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
show examples
think that it is vital to save the village side and not develop new buildings there.I will discuss my point of view and will give my opinion that new buildings are crucial for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
and should
build
Wrong verb form
be built
show examples
in rural
areas
. First and foremost,
people
wanted to build new
places
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
and in the
cities
,there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
enough space because already many
people
live
congested
Change preposition
in congested
show examples
places
and I believe that if one family have ten
people
and only one house
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
enough for them.why is no space for living in
cities
?because nowadays,most
people
prefer to live in the
cities
,so many facilities over there
such
as hospitals,better schools and universities etc.
In addition
,there are many parks and activity
places
for the children that's why urban
areas
have no empty
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
.
Hence
,
people
have to to
move
another
place
because of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
to continue their
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
show examples
life.
Secondly
,some
people
believe that they should not
move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the countryside I disagree
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
opinion,if we
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
not
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the rural
areas
and
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
leave the
cities
we cannot progress in any field.why
people
Add an auxiliary verb
do people move
did people move
show examples
move
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
?they like to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bigger
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
and they love nature where they built
a dream houses
Correct the article-noun agreement
a dream house
dream houses
show examples
and have huge
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
live.To illustrate,
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
should stay in the village
whereas
Correct word choice
where
show examples
no entertainment over there but they enjoy
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
environment and
near
Add a missing verb
are near
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
To conclude
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should take steps to encourage the
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they live in the countryside and should promote their culture and nature.
Submitted by rs55169611 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing thoughts and ideas more coherently. Ensure introduction and conclusion adequately frame the discussion. Provide a more complete and comprehensive response to the task. Use relevant and specific examples to support the points made.
task achievement
Task response needs improvement in delivering a complete and comprehensive response. Ensure that the ideas are clear and relevant to the topic. Include relevant and specific examples to support the points made.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
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