IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

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Some argue that the government should spend tax on public convenience .
while
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 they invested it in the entertainment of the public.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and provide evidence to support my opinion. On the one hand, there are some who believe that taxes should be invested in the improvement of local facilities.
Firstly
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, oblivious, to make the local economy flow without struggling is power-up the public transport,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 if the city has
a
Remove the article
apply
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clog
Change the verb form
clogged
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 traffic because lack of buses or available trains to use, people may choose an alternative way
such
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 as using a personal car,
this
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 causes the traffic build up the congestion and all types of deliveries will get hiccups.
This
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 causes the businesses must slow down in growth .
Moreover
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, the safety of public transport users is the most important reason that the government should more focus on public service.
On the other hand
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, there are several reasons that the city will need entertainment.
To begin
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 with, some businesses related to shows or cinema,
such
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 as museums, and art galleries. These are parts of making money for the country by bringing the tourists in. And people need some relaxation to release their stresses from daily life.
To sum up
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, even though some believe that spending pennies on the citizen's convenience transport might be not a waste of money and
also
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 keep the city in order out of
mess
Add an article
the mess
a mess
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.
However
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,
keep
Verb problem
apply
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improving the shows will pull some financers into the country
easier
Correct word choice
more easily,
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 and locals will gain some happiness in more alternative ways too.
Submitted by pattiya.oa on

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task response
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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