In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Although

Linking Words

young people nowadays are provided with a more comfortable life and a better health care system, they are not necessarily happy as expected.

This

Linking Words

essay will put forward some factors that contribute to

this

Linking Words

paradox and propose several feasible remedies to mitigate the situation .

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are two main causes of unhappiness among young individuals. The first culprit is the overpopulation in certain cities and countries which raises intense employment competition, increasing work and study pressure. In fact, many students choose to end their lives after long-term suffering from severe depression because of the tension in studying to have excellent qualifications in order to get a decent job.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the development of social networks where most people only showcase their positive aspects including financial power and fame might lead to self-deprecation among some adolescents. Compared to the past when people merely concentrated on their own work rather than others, the young generation currently is more affected by peer pressure and is under higher expectations from their parents and society. Several measures could be put in place to address

this

Linking Words

alert issue. First of all, it is necessary for youngsters to be encouraged to play sports since

this

Linking Words

is one of the most efficient ways to release stress and reinforce strong mental health.

For instance

Linking Words

, universities and companies can open sports tournaments with prizes and bonuses for both winners and participants.

In addition

Linking Words

, education systems need to pay more attention to the mental well-being of the students, including stress management, resilience and self-care techniques.

For example

Linking Words

, schools and universities can engage a psychologist whom students with depression and stress can talk to and have proper treatments. In conclusion, the decline in the happiness level of the young generation despite their favourable conditions can be explained by the culture of comparison fostered by social media,

as well as

Linking Words

the pressure coming from today’s competitive job market. To address

this

Linking Words

problem, several programs need to be integrated into schools and workplaces to create a happier and more fulfilling environment for the young community.

phanhuyhoang278Sat Nov 11 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

While the essay presents a clear structure, improve coherence by ensuring that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs flow more seamlessly.

task achievement

Ensure that main points are fully developed by providing more detailed examples and a deeper analysis of the causes and solutions to the issue.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?
Several cities around the globe are subscribed the idea of vertical development for residential buildings, others promtote independent houses on larger area. I believe that providing taller residential apartments is the best way for city development as ample reasons are present to substantiate it. This essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations.
5.5
band
The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree?
Conventional job is no longer the new normal. Earlier, people used to do a single job for their whole life but now they are finding different ways to earn money and to educate themselves.I strongly agree and I think that, nowadays, there are certain circumstances in which you have to be more flexible to work in any industry and enhance your knowledge to succeed.
4.5
band
Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?
in the contemporary era, selling exotic goods are more comman than relying on local produced ones. this essay elaborates the reason behind this sentinment as wll as evaluating whether its beneficial or not.
4.5
band
More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.
Nowadays, the amount of cars increase among with growing of human population. In fact, people that alive in city especially already over-reliance on own cars. The gist cause is giving bad impact for the environment. Then, increasing the payment of tax for private car is one of the possible solution.
8.5
band
Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?
Childhood obesity is becoming increasingly prevalent in Australia, with nearly two-thirds of children now categorized as obese. It has been argued that educational institutions should be held responsible for monitoring students' diets and physical activity. While I agree that they play a vital role, I believe this responsibility should be shared with families and society as a whole.

In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree?

Many supermarkets are selling more and more products that are imported from other countries instead of selling food that is locally sourced. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?