Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed.

It has been widely claimed that
advertisement
has been an important part
that is
successfully able to persuade
people
While
it is argued by some that it is not too crucial for consumers to pay attention to it.
This
essay
firstly
discusses both perspectives before elaborating why I consider that advertising is a particularly potential method for marketing to be a positive circumstance.
To begin
with, it might seem reasonable for some to believe in the power of
advertisement
.
This
is proper because it has always been a part of several media relevant to our normal life and the story of the advertising might be well written to attract the attention of the target of the product.
For example
, in the case of the car industry, the actor playing a selling role in the
advertisement
might be a car racing winner
instead
of a common businessman. From
this
perspective, it could make the content more attractive to believe that the car is the first choice for
people
who have technical knowledge related to cars.
Moreover
, it could be a significant point to debate that the interest of customers is no longer attracted by those persuading. To clarify the argument, it could be seen that
people
in society nowadays are surrounded by too much content.
For instance
, the smartphone is one of the tools to access online information that contains a board of knowledge and information on several topics.
As a consequence
,
this
could cause
people
to lose their focus on the message in the
advertisement
.
However
, I personally believe that it especially plays an important role in marketing in the present if sellers are able to arrange the story to be credible and sincere. In
this
case, giving
people
on both sides of the product might help
people
trust the messages because there are positive and negative reviews of the product to compare.
For
this
reason, advertising will be useful for
people
, leading them to start giving their interest to the advertising. In conclusion,
although
it is undeniable that some are not greatly interested in commercial messages, I am the option believing that the message could be able to catch our attention, depending on the credible story of the
advertisement
.
Submitted by kanittha.sma on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced discussion. However, the discussion lacks depth and detailed analysis of the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, and transition words are used effectively to connect ideas. However, the essay lacks coherence in some parts due to unclear pronoun references and repetitive sentence structures.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary is sufficient, and relevant terminology is used. However, there is an overreliance on basic vocabulary, and some word choices are repetitive.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammatical structures, with some errors in subject-verb agreement, word forms, and tense consistency. Additionally, sentence structures are repetitive, and there is a lack of variety in complex sentences.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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