IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

57.The diagram below illustrates the carbon cycle in nature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

57.The diagram below illustrates the carbon cycle in nature. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graphic shows the
carbon
Use synonyms
cycle
Use synonyms
 in nature.
Overall
Linking Words
, is around 6-step, natural and
cycle
Use synonyms
 process,
although
Linking Words
 human factors
also
Linking Words
 affect the balance to complete the
cycle
Use synonyms
. First of all, the energy from the sun is transformed into organic
carbon
Use synonyms
 through a process in
plants
Use synonyms
 known as photosynthesis.
This
Linking Words
 organic
carbon
Use synonyms
 is
then
Linking Words
 transferred underground when
plants
Use synonyms
, and the animals that feed on them, die and decay and waste products.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some of
this
Linking Words
carbon
Use synonyms
 is trapped underground in the form of fossils and fossil fuels.
Carbon
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 released back into the atmosphere,
however
Linking Words
, through various means. One is when animals and
plants
Use synonyms
 respire, and another is when humans burn fossil fuels in cars and factories, and
this
Linking Words
 all causes the release of
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide in the air.
Finally
Linking Words
, all
this
Linking Words
carbon
Use synonyms
 enters the atmosphere as CO2. It is
then
Linking Words
 reabsorbed by
plants
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 the
cycle
Use synonyms
 begins again.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, cycle, plants with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: