IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

66.The charts below show how water was used in Australia in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie chart illustrates the
water
Use synonyms
 consumed in
Australia
Use synonyms
 in 2004, and in the bar graph it shows
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the residential
water
Use synonyms
 use.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
water
Use synonyms
 is consumed in houses in
Australia
Use synonyms
, specifically in the bathrooms and gardens.
While
Linking Words
 the other mentioned places do not occupy a significant percentage. 57% of the total amount of
water
Use synonyms
 used in 2004 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was in residential places, specifically houses, having the largest
overall
Linking Words
 share. Followed by apartments, which have a proportion of 13%,
while
Linking Words
 one-tenth of
water
Use synonyms
 is consumed in business. Industry uses 11% of
water
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
, and the government consumes 5% less than the industry, and the 3% rest is used in other places. 27% of the
water
Use synonyms
 used in residential areas is distributed to the garden, which is 1% more than the percentage of the bathroom, with 28%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, one-fifth of the
water
Use synonyms
 consumed is used to wash clothes, which is double the
water
Use synonyms
 used in the kitchen, which is 10%,
finally
Linking Words
, the rest consumed
water
Use synonyms
, which is 15%, is used in toilets.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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