70.The government has the duty to ensure that its citizens have a healthy diet, while others believe this is individuals’ responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some say that the
government
are the ones that should ensure that the people
living in their country have a healthy diet, while
others would argue that this
is the responsibility of the individuals
. This
essay would argue that although
the government
can promote healthy practices, the individuals
, themselves, are the ones responsible for what they eat.
On the one hand, the government
has a duty to protect the health of its citizens by implementing policies and regulations that promote healthy practices. Taking measures that ensure that the products that are sold in the nation are safe and healthy, so cases of diseases and illness can be reduced. For example
, the government
can enforce regulations on food labelling and advertising, so individuals
are able to know about the ingredients used, and make sure if there is something that they can’t eat. However
, I believe that the government
only carry out activities to advise citizens, but the main work should be done by individuals
.
On the other hand
, individuals
are responsible for what they eat. This
is because the government
cannot make sure that everyone is having a healthy diet since there are millions of people
in a country. Also
, there are many advertisements and news which tell people
what healthy foods and which products are recommended to eat less, and some individuals
do not care about and this
causes diseases and illness. For example
, there has been an increase in cases of diabetes because of the large amount of people
eating fast food. These individuals
know that fast food is not good for their bodies, but they still eat it. In my opinion, nobody can stop others from doing something that they want, so people
, themselves should be in charge of having a healthy diet.
In conclusion, although
the government
can advise citizens about what they should eat and what not, is the individual who decides if they want to listen or not, and they are the ones that should be aware of what they eat.Submitted by elenazheng1211 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement to clearly summarize the key points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be better linked to the body paragraphs for improved coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant ideas and specific examples, but some parts are lacking in clarity and need further development to fully address the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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