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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?

#people #children #time #children’s #story #book #activities
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It is often argued by some masses that growing ones who like to read from their story
books
 are not utilizing their time as that precious movement could be used to do something more productive. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
 as reading helps not only in learning ability but
also
 refreshes mind. The primary reason why reading fairy tales is considered vital is that it helps the child to learn various things. It helps to open the door of
knowledge
 as analyzing the
books
, helps little ones to learn new words, improve vocabulary and
also
 improve their grammar. The things learned during childhood help them during school life and
as a result
, they can get better grades.
Moreover
, it helps to open the door of
knowledge
. The power of imagination learned from there can be used in future to write masterpieces. The fact that famous writer, Luis Mark, read thousands of
books
 in his childhood before publishing his one, helped him to become a good writer. The second reason why grasping the
knowledge
 from story
books
 is vital is that it relaxes the mind. The way, the scenario is represented helps the readers to calm their minds as well helps to stay connected with the thoughts of imagination. If the pupils love reading
instead
 of using mobile phones or laptops, there are chances that there would be less restraint on their eyes. Once the interest is built, the readers love reading and can continue that for a long time. To prove it, it can be easily seen by the grandparents reciting the micro tales for their child so that their little one can sleep peacefully.
To conclude
, reviewing the hub of
knowledge
 in the early ages of life, not only helps individuals to increase their internal desire for
knowledge
 but
also
 helps them to calm their mind, leading to internal satisfaction.
Submitted by pkaur3443 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be improved for better clarity and relevance. The logical structure and support for main points are adequate, but they should be more organized to enhance coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete with clear and comprehensive ideas, but it lacks relevant specific examples to strengthen the arguments. There is room for improvement in providing more evidence and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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