Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People have different opinions regarding
success
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in
life
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.
Although
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some think that it comes from factors like money and appearance, I believe that it comes only through hard
work
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and determination. The reason why numerous individuals think that appearances are important is because people tend to judge others based on these criteria. It is in human nature to form opinions about others, hastily, superficially, without truly knowing the characteristics and beliefs of an individual;
therefore
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, those that have these superficial factors, like money or pleasant appearance, often easily make connections with others and benefit from it.
For example
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, in the U.S., there once was a case where the accused was a beautiful and innocent-looking man; his case was dropped because the first opinion of the judge was that he couldn't be a bad person.
This
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demonstrates that those who have superficial characteristics have advantages in
life
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that lead them to
success
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.
Nevertheless
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, I believe that the only true
mean
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means
show examples
to achieve
success
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in
life
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is through hard
work
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and dedication, as it is by far an effective and reliable method.
Life
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is hard; throughout the
life
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of an individual, he will constantly be faced with obstacles and challenges.
Thus
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, it is important to have a tough mentality in order to face them.
For instance
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, kids that have been taught since elementary school to
work
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hard will have better chances to enter a
prestigeous
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prestigious
university.
This
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shows that by having the determination and dedication towards an objective, people can achieve
success
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. In summary,
while
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success
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can be obtained through superficial factors
due to
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human nature, I believe that through hard
work
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and determination, any obstacle in
life
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can be surpassed;
hence
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,
success
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in
life
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.
Submitted by kevinwang9000 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Consistently link ideas within and between paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position and covers both viewpoints, effectively responding to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a concise overview of the topic, framing the essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multifaceted
  • determination
  • humble beginnings
  • long-term goals
  • influential networks
  • public image
  • societal standards
  • amplify opportunities
  • foundational
  • crucial
  • exemplifying
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