IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think the manufacturers or shopping malls should sell less packaged products and others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #manufacturers #malls #products #responsibility
Environmental conservation has become a priority in many countries around the world.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 significant concern arises from the overuse of packaging observed in stores.Some argue that
manufacturers
 and shopping malls should bear responsibility for reducing packaging,
while
 others believe that
customers
 should pay less for packaged
products
." On one hand,
manufacturers
 and shopping malls undoubtedly contribute to the issue of over-packaging.The reasons why the
products
 often be packaged in excess are the strategies to make them more appealing and texture.
Also
, the
products
 have to be well protected
while
 delivering might be a possible point too. Reducing packaging can significantly benefit the environment by decreasing the amount of waste generated. Once a shop or manufacturer adopts eco-friendly practices and establishes a standard."
This
 will set a trend, encouraging other companies to follow suit.
On the other hand
, the power of buyers cannot be overlooked.Consumers play a crucial role in cutting down the use of packages. Because every decision they make
,
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apply
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 might affect the markets’ strategies for selling
products
.
Furthermore
,
customers
 can support eco-friendly businesses by increasing their purchases, thereby expanding the market demand for sustainable
products
. In my opinion,
manufacturers
, shops, and every individual who has the opportunity to buy goods in stores all play significant roles in saving our planet.
Manufacturers
 can develop
products
 that are both appealing and eco-friendly. Consider the shampoo industry, where companies could offer discounts to
customers
 who return their empty bottles for refilling.Meanwhile,
customers
 should opt for eco-friendly
products
 to increase the market demand for sustainable practices.
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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally effective but could be improved by providing a clearer progression of ideas within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, providing a clear overview of the topic and presenting a balanced opinion. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be more cohesive.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary is varied and appropriate for the task. There is evidence of some less common lexical items, and the vocabulary is generally used accurately.
grammatical range
There is evidence of a good range of complex structures. However, there are some instances of grammatical errors, which, if eliminated, would enhance the overall fluency of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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