86.In many countreis, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countreis #people #population #governments #society

It is argued that in many nations, individuals are living for a longer time.

This

essay would argue that despite the

government

's need to spend more

money

, it increases

job

opportunities, which means that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. One significant disadvantage is that the

government

need to spend more

money

healthcare

and social welfare systems.

This

is because when

people

get older, they need more medical attention and support services, which can strain public

healthcare

resources.

This

can reduce the funds that the

government

has, and start reducing the expenses in other areas.

For instance

, Japan, which has many elderly

people

, has faced rising

healthcare

costs

due to

a growing number of old citizens.

However

, I believe that the

government

through taxes and other sources have always received enough

money

, so

this

is not a significant drawback.

However

, it is

also

advantageous to the society. One of the most notable benefits is the increase in

job

opportunities,

this

is because normally when

people

get older, they have to go to hospitals and nursing homes, so an increasing number of

people

specialized in

this

area will be needed, and

this

causes that more

people

have a

job

and fewer individuals will suffer of poverty.

For instance

, in the

last

decades many cities in China started to recruit nurses specialized in taking care of elderly

people

, decreasing the unemployment rate. I’m of the opinion that the growing amount of elderly

people

has too many advantages. In conclusion,

although

the

government

need to invest more

money

in public

healthcare

, there will be more

job

opportunities so fewer

people

need to suffer from hunger, for these reasons, the positives far outnumber the negatives.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Sun Nov 12 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present with a well-defined thesis statement and summary of main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that mass media only bring negative effect to society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do the benefits of artificial intelligence outweigh the potential risks?

Politicians’ private lives should not be printed in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?