You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

#work #computer #manager #-explain #-give #-make #suggestions #adress

Dear Mr. Samson, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing

this

letter to inform you about the problems having with my official

computer

. Recently observed that my work

computer

has been getting very slow

as well as

out-of-date

although

I have been working with

this

desktop

computer

very smoothly for

a long days

Correct the article-noun agreement

a long day

long days

show examples

. As per

hardware

Correct article usage

a hardware

show examples

expert from

Correct article usage

the IT

show examples

department,

this

computer

having

issue

Add an article

an issue

show examples

with RAM and Processor. These two hardware

supposed

Add a missing verb

are supposed

show examples

update

Wrong verb form

be updated

show examples

with a view to

increase

Change the verb form

increasing

show examples

the speed of

this

computer

. As you know, I have been working here as

Change the article

show examples

business data

anlysist

Correct your spelling

analysis

analyst

and

for

this

reason, every day I am dealing with lots of data and office applications

such

Change preposition

as MS

show examples

Excel, Visual Basic etc.

Due to

lack of speed, I am having problems with operating the

computer

uniteruptedly

Correct your spelling

uninterruptedly

. Considering

this

information, I am suggesting to update the RAM and Processor of

this

computer

with

latest

Change the article

the latest

show examples

version

such

as 16 GB RAM and Intel Core i7 processor (5th Generation). Looking forward

for

Change preposition

show examples

your kind

advise

Replace the word

advice

show examples

to fix

this

problem. Best Regards, Faisal

Submitted by faisalmahamood on Sun Nov 12 2023

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task response

Provide a more detailed explanation of how the computer issues have affected your work.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure and organization of the letter could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the overall Lexical Resource.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Some sentences lack proper punctuation and capitalization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

182 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

ou have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school .What arre reasons and solution.

You recently sent some documents by post, but they did not arrive. Write a letter to the post manager. In your letter Give details of the situation Describe the documents Say what action you want the post office to take.