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Band 4

You have recently noticed that your work computer is getting too slow and out-of-date. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -explain the problems with your computer -give some examples of how this has affected your work -make some suggestions for what can be done to help adress this issue

#work #computer #manager #-explain #-give #-make #suggestions #adress
Dear Mr. Samson, I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the problems having with my official
computer
. Recently observed that my work
computer
 has been getting very slow
as well as
 out-of-date
although
 I have been working with
this
 desktop
computer
 very smoothly for
a long days
Correct the article-noun agreement
a long day
long days
show examples
. As per
hardware
Correct article usage
a hardware
show examples
 expert from
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 department,
this
computer
 having
issue
Add an article
an issue
show examples
 with RAM and Processor. These two hardware
supposed
Add a missing verb
are supposed
show examples
 to
update
Wrong verb form
be updated
show examples
 with a view to
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
 the speed of
this
computer
. As you know, I have been working here as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 business data
anlysist
Correct your spelling
analysis
analyst
 and
for
this
 reason, every day I am dealing with lots of data and office applications
such
MS
Change preposition
as MS
show examples
 Excel, Visual Basic etc.
Due to
 lack of speed, I am having problems with operating the
computer
uniteruptedly
Correct your spelling
uninterruptedly
. Considering
this
 information, I am suggesting to update the RAM and Processor of
this
computer
 with
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 version
such
 as 16 GB RAM and Intel Core i7 processor (5th Generation). Looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your kind
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 to fix
this
 problem. Best Regards, Faisal
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

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task response
Provide a more detailed explanation of how the computer issues have affected your work.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure and organization of the letter could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the overall Lexical Resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Some sentences lack proper punctuation and capitalization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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