Many people are worried about cyber crime and identity theft. What kinds of problems is it causing? What can be done to solve this problem?

In recent years, loss
identity
Change preposition
of identity
show examples
in bank
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
, social media
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
, and much more are quite popular, which
known
Add a missing verb
is known
show examples
lately as a cyber-crime.
This
essay will examine the main causes of cyber-crime and provide possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to the problem. In former
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
people
have
Verb problem
were
show examples
less savvy about
scam
Fix the agreement mistake
scams
show examples
on the internet. They are not realized
while
fill
Wrong verb form
filling out
show examples
the form or
click
Wrong verb form
clicking
show examples
on the link that has no clear resources, it has
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
potential to lead to identity steal.
For instance
,
people
are filled
Wrong verb form
fill out
show examples
the online form
due to
terms and conditions for able to get
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
shopping voucher without knowing that action will bring
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
privacy loss.
However
, there is another thing where
people
trust easily
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unknown callers who persuade
about
Correct pronoun usage
them about
show examples
something which
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
some data.
For example
, to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
redeem the prize someone needs to give some information to the speaker,
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
the address,
phone
Correct word choice
and phone
show examples
number,
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the bank account without realizing it comes to financial loss and fraud. Some possible solutions to
this
problem are more
educating
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
people
about crime on the internet
make
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
them aware
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
that, because if someone is mindful, they will prevent
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some suspicious things from unknown.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments and tech companies should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborate
show examples
to tackle all the issues and
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cybersecurity. In conclusion, many
people
who
worried
Add a missing verb
are worried
show examples
about cybercrime will lose
the
Change the word
their
show examples
trust in online
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
.
However
, it can
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
upgrading the regulations through collaboration between the government and tech companies,
while
people
in
Correct article usage
the educating
show examples
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
process about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cybercrime.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

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Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need further development to fully address the essay question and provide a clear roadmap for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Vocabulary
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Grammar
The essay demonstrates a fair command of grammatical structures, but there are errors present that affect the overall coherence and accuracy of the essay. Focus on sentence structure and tense consistency.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cyber crime
  • identity theft
  • hackers
  • data breach
  • phishing
  • online scams
  • vulnerable
  • sensitive information
  • financial transactions
  • online privacy
  • digital footprint
  • cybersecurity
  • online security
  • awareness campaigns
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • collaboration
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