Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many

people

believe that

music

can connect

people

from diverse

cultures

and

generations

together. I totally agree because

people

can feel closer by enjoying

music

together and it is a medium that helps

people

understand each other better. The main reason why I agree is because enjoying

music

allows different types of

people

to bond.

This

is because

people

from different

cultures

and ages can enjoy listening to similar genres of

music

together and through

this

fun shared experience they can feel closer.

For instance

, at New Year large groups of

people

, of different

cultures

and ages, can count down the New Year and sing Auld Lang Syne together, and

this

can be a great bonding experience and break down barriers between

people

. After singing it is common to see

people

of different ages and nationalities hugging each other and genuinely wishing each other well-being and prosperity in the New Year.

Consequently

, it’s clearly evident, at

this

time, that

people

feel closer and more connected despite differences. I

also

believe that

music

can increase the understanding between different

cultures

and

generations

This

is because when a person listens to the preferred

music

genre of another group of

people

they can know more about that group of

people

For instance

, when I listened to the famous Australian folksong called Waltzing Matilda, I was able to understand Australian culture so much more.

Moreover

, I could understand the struggles that previous

generations

faced in Australia.

This

increased my understanding of Australians and older

generations

and made me empathise with them, and understand why they behave in certain ways.

Consequently

this

increased my ability to bond with them. In conclusion, I completely believe that

music

can bring different types of

people

closer together.

This

is because fun shared experiences lead to bonding and increased understanding of others leading to empathy and an increased ability to bond.

Therefore

, I believe

music

should be used more as a way to break down barriers

amongst

Change preposition

among

show examples

different types of

people

Submitted by delulcheva on Sun Nov 12 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Introduction and Conclusion: The essay requires a distinct introduction and conclusion to frame the argument effectively. The opening sentence of the essay should more clearly introduce the topic and state the writer's position, while the conclusion should provide a summary and restate the position more assertively.

logical structure

Logical Structure: The ideas are generally well-connected but could benefit from clearer and more varied topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Utilize a range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.

supported main points

Supported Main Points: The examples provided should be developed further with more detailed explanation and analysis to strengthen the argument. Aim to link back to the main point more explicitly in each paragraph.

complete response

Complete Response: Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. The writer should aim to cover all aspects of the question and develop each point thoroughly to fully satisfy the task requirements.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clear Comprehensive Ideas: The essay contains clear ideas but would benefit from being expanded upon to provide a deeper analysis. This can be achieved by explaining the implications of the arguments presented and exploring alternative perspectives where appropriate.

relevant specific examples

Relevant Specific Examples: While the examples given are relevant, they need to provide a more in-depth insight into the topic. Incorporate a wider variety of examples from different contexts to further support the main points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You want to throw an event in a prestigious restaurant, inviting a number of people to it. Send an e-mail to the manager enquiring about the facilities and services.

Q. Air pollution is currently a big issue in most industrialized cities causing respiratory problems and changes in weather patterns. What do you think are the causes of this? What measures can be taken to reduce air pollution?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work extra hours. discuss both of views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects. What are the causes? What are the effects on society?