IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that raising gasoline
prices
Use synonyms
 is the most effective way to address environmental issues.
This
Linking Words
 essay disagrees with
this
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 statement because it will lead to
inflation
Use synonyms
 and
lower income
Add a hyphen
lower-income
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 level residents will suffer greatly.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
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 policy will not change peoples’ habits instantly. Increasing the price of fuels will impact the production and transportation expense of
goods
Use synonyms
 in general and
this
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 will lead to
inflation
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. The manufacturer will increase
their
Change to a genitive case
the prices of their goods
the prices of their good
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goods
Use synonyms
prices
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 because they spend more budget to produce and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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distribute the
goods
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 to the markets.
This
Linking Words
 increasing expense will be charged to end consumers, and raising
prices
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
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 the vast majority of
goods
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 will cause
inflation
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.
For example
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, those who earn below the average
,
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apply
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 will face difficulties
to afford
Change preposition
in affording
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 things they need, they should pay more for the same product
while
Linking Words
 their incomes remain the same.
Thus
Linking Words
 their affordability is declining and so is their welfare. Another reason is
this
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 measure will not directly change
peoples’
Correct your spelling
people’s
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 lifestyles. People drive their private vehicles to their workplaces because there is not adequate public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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. Individuals whose incomes are above the average, will not be directly affected because they have more remaining income to be allocated in
this
Linking Words
 growing cost.
Thus
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 they will still drive their own cars and produce more carbon emissions.
For instance
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, when Indonesia’s government decided to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gasoline
prices
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2015, there was not a significant decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 private cars on the roads in the following months. In conclusion, setting a higher price
to
Change preposition
for
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 fuel is not an excellent answer to the environmental challenges because it induces
inflation
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 and
this
Linking Words
 only affects some populations’
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, not really changing the rest to be more environmentally conscious.

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Task Achievement
Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and comprehensive introduction and conclusion, and work on connecting ideas more consistently across the essay.
Lexical Resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more academic and precise language to enhance your lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Work on using a wider range of grammatical structures and pay attention to sentence structure and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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